Sh*t I Don't Understand

by: Joe Santagato

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what's up guys - Joe this week yeah I'm wearing my glasses because I recently got pinkeye and know someone didn't fart on my pillow or shit in my eye or at least to my knowledge they didn't I mean who knows someone could have snuck up on me and shit my eye when I wasn't looking but that's a pretty hard task anyway this week I figured I'd talk to you about some things I don't understand the first one I'm sure we're all aware of it it happened this morning actually I'm sitting in the dining room eating cereal not like this of course because milk would be going everywhere this is just for visual purposes visual of course is kind of a hard word to say obviously anyway so I'm sitting in the dining room and Keith's in the living room right Keith's my brother he's sitting in the living room he's watching TV it sounds like he's watching a hardcore porno and not like a regular porno like it sound like one of those poor knows where the girls like hanging from a swing and like she's wearing a leather mask it's got a hole so she could breathe and there's like tape everywhere let the record show that I don't actually watch that kind of porn I'm just aware that it exists and that's why I brought it up I don't watch that cuz I'm mom if you're watching this I swear to god that's not my shit anyway so I'm like what the fuck is this kid watching so I walk into the room and he's watching women's tennis which is weird in itself while you're watching women's tennis I don't know anyway the thing that I don't understand about women's tennis is like I don't understand why these girls have to scream after every single volley like I understand you want to hit the ball hard so you let out like a little grunt like a mmm but these girls are insane like it'll be quiet and the girl will serve the ball and then also the other one will return it like yeah like Jesus Christ fuck and relax like that's way more than a grunt it's either like an intense orgasm or like a kidnapping scream that's not a tennis noise the next thing I don't understand is when someone like mispronounces a word so you correct them and then they go did whatever potato patato no it's not what the fuck is potato I've been alive for 22 years they've never heard anyone say potato in my entire life you know why because that's not a fucking word dude whatever tomato tomahto that's not a fucking word either it's tomato and potato so I don't understand that saying at all it makes no sense just admit that you set the word wrong the next thing I don't understand is like girls in their shoes like I get it you want us to spend money to have nice things and like whatever you know but I don't get spending 800 to a thousand dollars on a pair of shoes and let me tell you why I've seen on multiple occasions our girls spend so much money on a pair of heels you spent some money on these heels so that you can go out to like a club or something just say she's going to a club she'll wear the shoes from her living room to the cab to the club and the second she gets into the club she takes her shoes right off these hurt my feet I can't dance but one thing why did you pay all that money to what what I just hope the girls buy them with their own money because if I bought a girl a pair of a thousand dollar heels she better wear them too fucking bet not only that since you're not wearing shoes you're dancing all over this is how I dance by the way this is my shit right here you're dancing in this club right this club has jizz and blood and sweat all over this floor and you're just stepping in it having a good time and then when you leave the place you leave with your heels in your hand and your feet look like you just ran through the Amazon fucking black what's the point of spending $1,000 why'd you spend $40 on a pair of heels that kind of look like the ones you bought for $1,000 except they're not made out of like European snake ass and call it a day Wow I just farted and it smells like a fire that is alarming much smoke detector might go off smells like a fire did I just fart fire my asshole is a dragon anyway I'm sorry to think girls are just buying shoes like that for the answer what the fuck is going on

I forgot you know what silly me it's the x-games outside my house here's another thing I don't understand that kind of goes hand-in-hand with this I tweeted about this recently I don't get when girls go out on the weekends and they meet these like guys who are like 47 but they have money and bottles out of clubs they're like okay well I guess from here I guess I'm doing this I guess we're with them why are you gonna hang out these old-ass dudes first of all what fucking they ain't there why are these dudes in the club like oh my god you have like a Ferrari and a bottle let me take a picture with you I don't get that shit I don't know actually I can't if I saw like an old woman and she had bowels and she was like I'd be like fuck yeah I'm over there so I can't really say anything but there's never any Cougars in a club this is terrible man anyway so that's all for this week's video give this video a thumbs up leave a comment oh shit I don't know do other shit don't get pinkeye alright anyway I'll see you guys next week


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