Joey Diaz talks love, life and Santeria.

by: WWW.UNIONMAG.CO.UK

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[18.31]
to me Santeria is a lifestyle a way of life and a religion yeah just as much Catholicism with Judaism of Buddhism to advantage that Santeria gives you is that it's a living breathing religion okay you could check in on yourself yeah that's good and that's bad because that lets people think it's a fucking fortune show yeah so now people find out about this and all sudden they're like hey what do you what do you think about you know I will see your guy and if they don't like what they hear that's the end of that Santeria yeah Santeria is not a lady throwing cards and telling you you're passing your future no coin it's somebody telling you your energy and what you could do to make it even fucking better okay so how did you first experience that in you into the I was a child Cuba yeah at the house I saw certain things and at first I said ah well that was a little statue yeah some shit she do right by the door I noticed on Mondays my mom was huge on Mondays monday is the spirits day okay one day you cook you clean the house you set out new glasses with water in them you put a cigar yeah and you offer a meal to level loved one you lost and you play music that they liked and it's every Monday's kind of remembrance and you dip in there to give you strength yeah the spirits is not to say hey if fuckin I hope Jim dies today in a car accident you know that's what people actually became layin so I was a sickly kid when I came from Cuba I was always sick my tonsils so my mother went for a read because she believed in it and they brought me up she was blown the fuck away yeah when she came home and told me what was going on and she wanted me to talk to this woman and at the time I lived on 205 West 88th Street in New York so I'm a Cuban kid Wow living in a white area with a PA oh and everybody's supposed to be polite but the lady who did the Santeria was on 148th and Broadway that's like taking a fucking year and put them in a fucking a festival of who isn't yeah took everybody else in the neighborhood Irish and German and that's when I seen my first dead body off yeah that's who all these kids took me you know they had what was it that party you just it's like three fucking kids sitting around whoa hey you want to see your body let's go you know walking down to Westside Highway this is what New York was going through the worst man garbage shit relentless late 60s early 70s so they had to pick this body up only three days that's the first time I saw a dead fucking body okay so my world on a Main Street was mommy kindergarten I went to Catholic school I did all these nice little angles you're a good talk right once I got one at 48th Street you know if kids were fucking seven and eight and they shut down business owners they come in here and go listen we want to sweep come we want to take your garbage got at night clip the barrels back in and we'll wash it down with one yeah you know a dollar a day and people say normally throw eggs on there so for five dollars we were gonna work yeah we just want to get paid so they ran these streets I mean these kids were genius in a working class I wish my kids up I enjoy going up there uh-huh and the process of going up there my mom tricked me she lived whooping with the sweet dark-skinned Cuba lady you know I came from a light-skinned band house this was the first time I saw be something black fucking Cubans and then her husband was Raul or she was better and and we had a dog Lassie that's how they got me with that fucking dog yeah dog lassie last year they counted and I would go up there and she would talk to me and then my mom would leave me and she talked to me about the Saints and what I saw what I thought because my dad had died what were you seeing was all stuff my dad I just got it my dad died when I was three so at the time snow look so much I was seeing but when I was feeling and my mother's read that's what they told ya he wants his kid he's coming back for this kid he loved that kid you know so he was always around so the sickness the diseases of the throat the factions I kept getting back to no eating all that stuff coupled with my spiritual meanings and Jessie when I was born my dad died which meant that your head is bigger than your father's in that religion more than hobby cool Bruce Lee was how he grew ham you lose a brother if we lost a brother I lost a part of the medal my mom lost a kid that I was born after that so they say it's two heads to head the stronger the one so you take somebody and when you come in yeah Bruce Lee was hobby cool Elvis was ah be cool okay yeah we did a twin there's of times yeah okay so your ah be cool that means you've got to take somebody when you're born for you to be born somebody's got to go oh okay so and went so he was 37 my phone okay so this was all this combination they made me never going to make me st. to calm me down cuz of my house okay so the the Saints that they put in my head roll back a lot yeah which is the father the old yeah and he comes with several divinities to the valley I had was the warrior a Yahoo know you know he shows up in a fucking lion and a sword this motherfucker you know and I his Chris greatest quote was uh Chung go with him one day God went to hims and what the fuck is wrong with you everywhere you go there's a fucking war you know you that wants to be the God of peace and he goes uh and war this change hmm people got it yeah fight themselves to change and that's his greatest quota yeah grow so and then my mother was all true so uh you know they prep you for six months yeah I would go to my godmothers on the weekend she just told me stories what were you thinking when you were doing as we just like a kid gun I'm just gonna do this this might work for me or were you feeling it and you thinking this is work and if I was feeling something yeah at the time we're very key followed you know we're half with them I wasn't feeling that shit but this I was feeling I was feeling the stories because it's got a brighter mythology and it's more exciting I was feeling their stories I was feeling my mother was what she did what my father was I was feeling always I was really feeling it yeah I felt comfortable I felt at home you know and then half way they did the read because it's a 7-day process I do a read you know the first day you're up all night shave your head it was just wow like an suggesting why just clearly you start all the way in the world and then the third day is where they read to see where your other patron saint is yeah when you're made your made them to one st. but then they gonna flip and they all laugh which going to be oh I saw him doing this the other day whatever and with me it was our children the mother of sweetness okay spec she comes in laughing but she'll fucking they get off that bitch shows up laughs yeah ah you know they're fucking killing him she wasn't talking to his sister yet my young I was that oh he got they tricked them it's if you can't feed them together I did Erin oh yeah it's it's so complicated you know his whole but uh after the third day they do that which is Sunday and Sunday was when they decided I had the same sign as my godmother and yeah so you have a godmother a godfather Emma McGee border yeah this is pretty complicated King try go write it so you have these three people and they you know you have your godmother who's your mother now in the religion I never mother now you have a new mother okay and the problem she lost her son in Cuba so our signs which you have a sign everybody has a sign once they've worn your the sign that's a sign our signs were the same only twisted backwards so does she had it they didn't just read me the fucking riot act yeah hey grant Allah said we got bad news me you see this kid he's your son he breeds and walks at you you have to take him on the wing on the weekends you have to split them three days with the real mother in three days with this man I have people just take that my mother I love her the husband was great they had a kid the daughter you know was 148 streon I saw blue that's all right mama I sold glue to this Jew addict the glue attic he was like 50 we were like six and we will buy the boxes of glue and sell itself even dealing clear cuz we could go to everybody already had like a picture of him oh you can't buy glue here so so he would uh sticky Charlie was his name hahahahaha I learned how to make models up there you know it was just such as different nice to me so I was something by the social activities yeah it was like the Santeria was gravy on the top of me huh yeah yeah you know I got this so uh you know you dress some white furry year mother how to go live school the grammar school brag everyday everything so they they have to ask the same no my signs are very different a lot of people but I really wanted me under his thing so I was allowed to wear color clothes in school but at 3:01 had to run home the white clothes on I wasn't allowed to hang out on street corners I'm not allowed to really that's permission before I go everywhere but before I getting strange call I'm supposed to ask permission before just a fucking rat Miku the ruler a lot one of my mother you know you're there for seven days and then we've gone to the world Italian man when I went out to the world after seven days four years I loved what I did I love that love my Santa real life my friends didn't know about it was my own almost equal or how can the friends did not you because they didn't need to know see I also I had two lives when I was born I was the kissing laborer but I'm always Cuban yeah they did love this man you know my mother had a bottom just cocaine around my mother good blow and he was like I lived two lives I looked like this kid life and I lived like this other 148th Street I am and then my mom made st. I made say we were twins we made it made sense to live together ha did you have a ceremony when you maintained yes seven days seven days got to sleep at a house seven days and they watch you yeah if you sleep on the floor someone sits down watch watch is huge like almost with a notebook same little things you know you talk and you fool around I was a rambunctious little fucker so I want to get the fuck out there and there's only one st. that's allowed to leave the paper I telling why he's the young little boy so I would kept telling fuck it put it on give me like mother I got it no effect to do I know you can't fucking do it so that was it was just beautiful for a kid on me this little secret I had nobody else was into it you know when I see a dead chicken on the street in New York on the corner kids with all that's this I'd say it's Santeria leave it alone ok send the fuck out they want a question you know like I was going to ask you because it's banned in California isn't it he can't sacrifice animals to you know I don't know I don't sacrifice animals and so I don't know I don't know what the rules are in California but in Jersey you had to go to barber in New Jersey by animals and bring him up I didn't really know how a word that to me was the athlete they knew that to me as the by the way later yeah I knew about the chickens that's it I didn't know about the goats and they're a bigger goats a funny whenever the machine you know I was very I was a young kid and then after three days they have a thing which Courtney got he dies when they redo your future you have very subtly and my dog was you know it was gonna be a doctor a lawyer that I was uh not allowed to have weapons you know it was just so many things I had asked permission and these are the boundaries that you have to live by is something restrictive of my system I for me it was very restricted because I was a sponge and I listened I listened I like this time Santeria is beautiful to me I would spend the weekends with my godmother we greet other people and she'd say to me well you think so who I'm an 8 year old in a fucking room with adults tell I'm listen you gotta stop doing this and they look like my little fuckers just kickin cuz I have a bun a lot of these dirty yes the judge of jewelry so they would say they would eat the fuck you know I gotta stop fuckin eat chicken you know whatever fuck whatever the guy says that's why Santa we don't work for a lot of people doesn't checks you yeah checks you perfectly so I'm gonna take you through this really fast you understand what my energy comes from okay now that the religion how he brought it was very secretive it was very high on a need-to-know basis yeah since I was I had already learn how to be very subtle about hey your mom's name was in the paper last week four numbers I don't have some basketball fucking game what do you want to be wanna go eat chicken or you know man and it went away so I always knew but my godmother started getting celebrities by 73 because I made Saint when I was seven this is 1970 so the band came into New York the fania label and it was called the Fania los loros Hector Lavoe Willie Cologne so he was he went to Japan they went Africa for mama all evening but their big concert film was in New York and is called our Latin thing okay and she had two of the motherfuckers in that band she had Larry Harlow the people Jude piano player yeah and she had a Roberto Roja when you said have what do you mean by that she was their God yes yes they socialized but by this time awful Sun mouth came into this country at novia the same cocaine cocaine was coming and by the quote lungs so this guy had month these guys had money so I saw and my mother was involved in offer so I saw my godmother go from a Cuban African Stern godmother to didn't drink didn't smoke and they were all in bed at 10 o'clock every night and now she's at concerts at night with me you know and she's doing this and she's gonna take me like and it's very good but she's running through a different element yeah and that I don't care that the drug dealers started coming to her as you know when they busted into Noriega house he had Santeria in his closet Fidel Castro is a big Centurion fucking god you know I'm not prejudiced workers into a tan but after being 50 years old and being in the in the religion for 40 fucking 3 years I've seen it and I know the fields I know that Santeria is basically a religion of energies and you fucking feel them you don't feel them in your light things it's it's very close to is it a constant like to do to every situation you're in you kinda using it to judge every situation no no but it's very it warns you I'm gonna let you forward for the fucking trap you so yeah I had a godfather I had a stepfather married my mother and he was i before that's something completely different in Cuba their longshoreman they dedicate their life to sentence and Lazaro okay the saint with the dog shit okay why you can't hit dogs that bad transactions in front of them their punishment business they slash your ass with a straight red shit they all carry straight razors yeah it only pussy why because it weakens them as a man this is a man with a brotherhood of Cuba it's not like those guys why don't fucking how are that much these guys are super men like if there's a gay men in the room they can't be in that room a gay man can't touch their head a man can't touch their face they don't eat pussy but why does he pussy weak I have no idea to make the fucking news you know that's just what I had things are they these are the things that these guys don't say much these guys you can't call them you can't talk to them out of context let's say your name is what Martin what's your nickname it's awesome okay let's say I called you the Red Devil and that's the nickname that they told you and I wasn't supposed to call you that yeah you pull me aside and go next time you call me the Red Devil I will fucking stab you in the fucking eyeball my name is Martin motherfucker you don't know that and you're like what I do and see if I called you a name that's how uptight these guys are I think he's just been prejudiced again oh I love the red dr. Sophy this guy became went from being a lot about quad to since he lived in the house made my mama be having like him sink and we went to be one of Obama's guys and that got interesting that really got interesting because in Santa is a lot of gay guys so he's in the fucking room sweating bullets so they said you have to kind of he had a man tiptoe on he kept all around it but now it's mid seventies and I'm saying drugs coming the fucking my mother up and on top of this they're fucking my godmothers not doing the drugs but she's representing these guys she's taking these guys because they're coming doll it's not a long go to jail what do I got to do that she said crane Obama ha give him a donation of $10,000 whatever you I come to you with fuckin pocket full of money wanna give it to you because I want you do what you do here so this is when now this whole time I'm believing in Santeria but I'm getting a b12 I'm strong eating my pussy I'm starting to copy girls and that time you know and I'm starting to do my shit and I'm not noticing all this my mom and my stepfather break up you know at the house we had him in the closet we you know you had a closet little things and we share them and we killed animals at the house from time to time my mom had Santeria parties we celebrate but I always remember the teachings of my godmother by the time I was in high school I got motive was my godmother but a lot of things that happened and that time and the wall drug isn't money and incident so the ties were severed me and my heart I still love my godmother yeah my stepfather my mom break up this is when I start learning about the religion this is when I could explain to you yeah how the division affected me my mother breaks up with a step my stepfather in that time in New Jersey lottery gets picked up in New York so my mother's primary business with the bar but her real moneymaker was numbers okay so once a lot of it came that took a chunk out of her yeah a couple of arrests per my father had me proud and she couldn't go to work a few days business weren't them the police was sick a cop that killed in my hometown yeah which I'll get to that later a Cuban cop got fuckin slaughtered by bullets for shaking down Cuban Barra I came all this bad energy was around Santeria is a beautiful fucking religion it's a religion of beauty and home if you if you read the African stuff nowhere in there should it be fuckin murder and drugs and cursing and yelling if you have to go to a Santeria partisans you walk in you're taken by the drums your heart starts fucking beating then you'll see a chick with dark skin shaking around and you've got these fucking emotions but it's not like your dick is hard it's like you're in fucking another planet you're floating it's like you doing excess or all of a sudden this elements trying to come into the my father this goofy fucker for her and the drug dealers started coming in and they doing drugs at the Santeria parties and he's cannot see yeah but there was one guy in particular I went home six weeks ago the guy's name was and even look him up before his name was Garcia but we call him Rocky was his middle name and I went home six four weeks ago do comedy in New York and my cousin picked me up was also involved in Santeria when we were growing up and I'm gonna drive to the city we were discussing dotty yeah and I know you know that you go visit poppy in prison and this man towards the end he shot the kid the woman of the child it was all over after that and I said you know it made copy a saint in my house and he looked me in the face and they gonna you know really think about it you should have never made bilis ain't that's a huge statement yeah I knew for years this guy was killing me nothing it saved it and so my mother gets in for his trouble this andrés garcía that's his name Andres Garcia but they call cock he had grown up with my mother but Betty any cook my father in Cuba since they were kids so he was always around the house and even after a while my mom would go listen I don't want you to clown with that guy cuz Sunday they're gonna pull up on him and I shoot him I don't wanna hear that fucking call he'll come around for the school and get me I knew he loved me he's that bad that my father was dead every time he'd seen me give me a hundred bucks he once gave me a capsule with coconut how's the eighth grade he goes when you got a girl over house because I'm a pussy I mean this guy was great to an eighth grader I went to a man he was shooting people he would set up those he would do no Scarface things meet me at six-foot yeah I give you thirty thousand to shoot you they take it daddy can't do that Suzy still a lot in prison how is he that not a couple years ago he loved me and at that time I loved him man so he was under surveillance and twenty people looking to kill so we only personally trusted to do safe they told if he makes a few won't go to prison yeah I mean it is irrelevant in this way like yeah so it's one says give me 20 grand hands and you won't go to prison and then you do go just how crazy is before he found the godmother I would do him st. and I said that if she getting twenty granny will put him in person all right and we have to make the same now but he didn't trust nobody we personally trusted with my mother so yes my mother needles list what kind of debt you were my mother goes I'm gonna fuck at home because I take care of everything just let me make same thing yeah house my mom goes let me ask my godmother if it's okay just throwing it at my God my God knows God you can't do it because that's what somebody else is reborn so that shit he's got on him is gonna stay in your house that at me and this watch this thing you find out my mother was so broke she agreed to let this fucking guy yeah make the Saints in his house you know what I think my mother lasted maybe nine months have just the hole she died my heart attack I found her on the floor but I remember what happened the weeks after that the house had been infested with mice yeah field mice they just built the Meadowlands yeah all those mice now no smart we're moving up yeah but everybody in that house everybody that neighborhood in that housing thing the houses were fine since my house was infested with mice I mean to the point where I don't know we love the Wonder Bread in the mouse and one hop and it be little bags and there were tunnels so you understand what that meant left at that fuck yeah and in my patient what's happened my mom died and then so you have these Saints you're supposed to take your Saints with you wherever you go I couldn't take them to a house while I was gone they understand that so I came to this guy that my mom sold coke Buddha's made a mourning the fact that's his real name they called him the king of money gone and he had the Saints in his hospital a long time and I was supposed to go over that part of the shit-ass you know yeah and I go there once a week and one mammal then I got hoping the thing mr. fucking found the coke and my fucking Saints from the fag so me I'm a weak fucking kid but a week later I robbed the fucking place aw I've never seen my my Saints again yeah so now it's about 1984 my mum's dead about five years I'm about to move to Colorado and at that time I hadn't seen my godmother in about three years four years and I love her I love what she stood for I love the stories about Santeria she planned everything she told me was true now just 50% before the 85 1000 before my mom dies this is where it gets kinky oh yeah the same lady who does the saint Hatake yeah used to pass a spirit once a month that was powerful whatwhat does that mean how'd you pass the spirit people to seance okay but this was fucking real shit man his boat you looking at me and I'm telling you that she spoke to you and she came with her energy does your father want some talkies in the house put a red thing on the bed and he won't mess with you when he misses you and he just wants to say a bunch of things when I was fucking petrified I thought I was something about my mom I always have pathetic my mom on the couch of the team yard and I would always smell shit my god is dead he would walk around but and one right there was his cop in Union City who was a Cuban guy yeah maybe mid seventies 76 77 my mom biting something on I'm trying to take it out of context but this is all part yeah what's my call the whole uh they uh you check down the Cuban owners and one day when I walked in for my mom's bar the he was in there what is wrong white top painted yellow with my mom my fuck you I know what you'd know in my mom as I listen dog you could accuse me a shit but you got to lower your fucking voice it was ugly he's like what the fuck he gonna do I could shoot you right here and fucking nobody would know you speck bitch and all his shit all there's some white dudes in there pretty dangerous there were eyeballing the cop I'm sitting there he's like my sons and they get my fuck out of here this went back and forth next time I come me of the money better be here so I'm like they had this thing over here bogus that was the lady's sink okay she is talking too much of evil and how I knew this lady was real was because she had kids yeah she would drive to school you know she was like a basketball mom okay but at night and you know me I'm an old fucking Cubans your watcher didn't bring her as part of her offering to bring her booze as those women ever drink but her favorite booze was that what's 140 should we pull out my wallet Hank hotline and she would open those things up and drink it like the way I'm drinking this green tea yeah and that's that goat and she would be all over so and I'd watch the lid to make sure was broken my mother at a bar so I know about breaking a lid sober one night she took a dish full of my mom she shot a lot of poems you have a guy that's bothering you my mother you look around pick up a white dish she pawned it took the candle just went like this with it and she goes this is the guy that's bothering you and there was an image of a guy over here and she took traditional seven days done but she broke it broke you know I went home like law yeah this is what we find that she's a fraud listen bro I'm not a weak Leila there's a shootout in the city yeah this guy gets killed machine gun the fucking that was gonna go pick up the cop that was in the fucking car with him till this day he's retired and caught somebody couldn't get out of this but the car was locked yeah like he didn't know what I saw he didn't know eyes and that's when I started believing a little bit yeah so my friend more serious name so now my mom dies I know that this shit's real I saw how they told my mother don't fuckin do that same under the tank the wall right before he was going to do it my godmother call my mother said I'll give you twenty thousand give them twenty thousand to call it off and tell the house got raided and that you can't do it then watch a house you know like no I gave my word and that was in her word cost my life so in 1985 I'm in the city of about the week Colorado I wrote 148th Street partly and that's when my time model if that was a hot spot for a week and by the weed like oh you know I'm gonna go see this Roma it's been years I walked up the stairs she owned the three buildings on the corner of 148th Street having I walk up the stairs I rang the doorbell she opened the door she thought no one to tears I haven't seen her maybe three years no mama she hugged me she's like I always pray for y'all I can't befriend you know my son she was let me read your cards I laugh a few hours she cooked for me her burrito she goes personal she hasn't seen me we didn't learn the same circles biscottis listen stop doing that white shit yeah you know you're a son of a bottle right your evil is white you can't eat sugar really you can't you know I can't really coconut I can't eat anything like anything white doesn't agree would be flour so she goes yawns compa that shit and the Matoo don't have don't do any business dealings with three people she goes we talked about this when you're a kid it's coming up again it's either for this to throw his team up against yeah and walked out I gave her a kiss she any fifty bucks or whatever fuck she came in I walked out and I never saw her again 1987 I go to jail for kidnapping aggravated robbery sorry to a felony it's cocaine ID to the kidnapper with two other guys now you go to inflict everyone against me so if you caught any you know like you said I kept coming up in a flow through your childhood and it was kind of maybe leading some point with the cocaine and the kidnapping and all that and the truth or the guys is there anything now that you've been warned about me to be heading towards or about six months after I stopped doing blow I did this movie it's not formal on my own no we had no nothing I went the old-fashioned way I made a promise to about my cat have a kitten he was sickly and I said if he lives I'll never if I can do blow again the cat Lou that's a Santeria promise yeah Santeria people you know a lot of people vote I asked Obata lot for a half no no no no no that's not what you told Michael I will you give me a fucking house I'll have a room in there dedicated to you I'll have a white coat fee every fucking Friday you're gonna be whiteford your goats you understand me no bomb I'll give you what you want time to go you've got to keep the promise that you have to keep the promise on all those years I was on the cult I never I thought about going and seeing Somalia what can't fake the front room can't walk in there with that essence on it and I thought about it I stopped doing the blow on my own and I did this movie and I was without the cameraman and he had a bracelet I left over I go about a lot looks a little touch it hello it was like 12 him I know you got a guy who was a great guy you know and I call the guy took about a month to see me and I went over and I saw him and I've been wanting to see him for the last six she is yeah and everything he tells me I do - a letter yeah for marrying my wife I want the same on a Tuesday and he goes you gotta marry that girl there she's getting second plug went over I went right on the phone call that really married a month later he told me that something big was coming my way Alana had a baby girl you know I just told me certain things that made me communicate with you know little things to do you know warrants one of my big things is the same thing once I got a house I'm gonna have another room for him I got him all his things and sort of cost me $100,000 you know didn't go thing I either I'm gonna have to that's what they want to be fed you have to feed them I can't do it somebody will come in and do it without there but you think what you say I'm 50 yeah 50 my wife just had a child after we had the child before I baptized the child took them to see him yeah and he does something so if the child dies you know the Limbaugh has a memory and he said that she wasn't even from the Saint she came from the witches is a gift to me from the witches all right they owed me for taking things from me so whatever the witches I had no fucking idea I just left it at that but uh I see what my life is now and now I'm very a bottle out or anything yeah I went back to my roots and that's why I've had success the last six years yeah because it wasn't just me quitting cocaine yeah it was I went back to my roots everyone when I wake up I pray oh by the law my brain would show I put honey after I taste it you have to taste it before you give it to her because somebody tried to poison the ones taste it yeah I'd be Monday I put out new glasses of water and I light a cigar for my mother my father the kids that I grew up with my high school had died a girl that sent me a card a senior graduation she died that weekend I knew her parents and every Monday I do things for them I don't put food out but I pray for them I take a moment after on Monday she think it's them growing as a religion you know like they say it's not the fastest growing religion in Los Angeles well here's the problem with the fastest growing religion Los Angeles is that what type of people in Los Angeles people that hit a fucking lottery it's the same mentality with that I've been to a couple functions and it wasn't the way I was raised it was people who half of it was a social life meows it and the other half is it's like going to a church and seeing you you know it this guy fucks his secretary appears twice a week but this motherfucker says in the front row at church you know this family on Sunday and you look at this motherfucking you go this is why I can't go to Catholic Church no man because of pukes like him and then you realize this guy's gonna die and fucking hell with a black cock up his ass I don't fucking matter so fuckin let him take whatever he takes you know and and that's what Santeria is about you give fuck him go in that double-faced yeah I wouldn't go for a reading while I was on the blog yeah because I knew if the guy was good Oh Papa I would throw me right out of that fucking meeting if I did it one for meaning just that it wasn't Mike yeah and in a million year this is everything you have Santeria you can't even take the same with you will you die you have a ceremony leave the same here and the same decide when you want to say if I'm living home we must live in your backyard or whatever I will remember the process you know they wanted me to stay in the religion and work it and I I would have you know what I didn't have and this guy in LA is very good and I love him I had him on Duncan's podcast okay a gentleman he's great he gives one of the best reading was in town but and his one function I showed there was a lot of people that if it was 20 people in 12 of them shouldn't even have been there scratchcard looking to win that scratch card it's looking to window scratch card as a social thing oh my god this is so much fun to say fun bitch this everyone answers were like I said it's a living breathing religion see thing is like it's just an it fashionable of the night at home I yeah people look amazing listen pros like everything else can you know you know I'm not saying you but you see a probably people don't have glasses on there's no one look like a fucking wall so glasses are really not gonna let me be a fucking orange I can still tell you a fucking moron to go glasses on because you're a behind cheap so you know you can meet a guy he's got a girlfriend police into Harley's yeah he was under into Harley's now is she's trying to talk to you and you're looking at her thinking would you shut the fuck up you a fucking follower you're not the main cause here I don't like those people in Santeria you know many people I recruited the same career my 43 years how many what sanim are because I thought that we always think about each other at different times we saw spiritually the Mexican dude yeah but you don't get it because it was raised here he's a conspiracy theorist yeah so he wouldn't understand looking he actually goes to psychics so I can't hear are away yeah he's doing already but uh I don't like that part of it I don't like that my godmother for a year I had to go up every fucking weekend and sit there and take any a beat listen to stories about open going into the mountains that'll Chile born in there with honey in a knob and you know a bottle bottle ah you fucking going to the mountain roll be at all and changes appearance to trick people comment people you know ooh lovely yeah you you have the rich tapestry fell in love with here not like the sort of walking good takeaway religion greatest and I saw I so I was at any one time I saw this couple down the street fixing themselves up like you know how do I look and he was dressed in white with black shoes you fucking mutt you fucking mutt how can you be dressed the right then in black shoes on you're a fucking mutt understand me and that's why me these people and then it's like a couple years ago I had a friend kept fuck around with devil worshippers your dad told us and listen the people you're messing with your real the real the fuck but in their mind this is the way to go and every aspect of our life or view real people now I want you to know it's like the people that are comedians and I come in with and also my dream three is going like what's up though oh I quit comedy I'm a cameraman no no you just use cut looking feels kinda you don't even know what you are I'm a comedian too late for me in that fucking hope anything with Santeria yeah so Christian I don't go out fucking Church in the world and I go to Catholic Church get Santeria told me you can't really step in how the jerseys I asked I asked permission I won't the cap insurance I really like the captain with yeah and that's the good thing you can ask permission what about you want idiot go about Canada how does she feel about if I go for a reading and they particularly talk to me by my wife or my daughter then I would have to do something I have to think about the floors what they're saying and my life is but I'm not one of those guys I don't want my wife or me to have the same interest yeah I talk to my wife about and water a book what I'm gonna collect the sound she was reading a Christian when I'm a timing I would never want to be better come on I want to come for me tell me yes book it's a beautiful religion yeah I tell her every day look at our look what's going on the house yeah so she's cooler my wife is 50 you know 50 my wife's full agreement sent a child at the time I've been smoking dope for 30 fucking years she's not just a town she's a beautiful little fucking girl that we don't even know where she's been my heart I gonna tell she's been there the whole time Michael baccala she's been there the whole time and he's just come just decided to come up yeah fruit yeah 14 years I'm moving to 414 is it just a meter two years ago what he is now she decides to have a kid how many times I banged my wife what I'm I wanna fat fuck you're saying I don't why I believe I'm back on the train I'm back but I was always there but I wasn't a hundred percent yeah Michael I think that how would you back oh yeah I wasn't hundred percent when I was 100 percent when you were walking to a Catholic Church yeah because you're not a hundred percent you come in hit a pray meanwhile you're walking crooked like most fucking Americans and most people and I want help but then I'm gonna put the work in with Santeria you gotta put the fucker Morgan how do I know because I lived around 50 fucking years old yeah I've had white hair from a bottle ah since I was eight since I was eight I've had little markings yeah and I always knew I always knew that where I'm fucking by the time I was 30 I will fight and I just do a movie so they died it yeah that's what this day will be see so what do you friends secret they don't say dick now and I laugh about it Joe Rogan asked about a really problem I laugh about it with my wife I thinking they had to think I'm fucking around well I've never broke it down for the me like I said it's it's not a conversation that I often yeah don't you hate when somebody comes up here start phony about a religion that's like to tell you to come by their church without a component then it really it really sucks we turn it on say I was at a movie shoot two weeks ago and it's a low-budget movie okay but I've been on low-budget movies where the fucking tables are filled with food two days I had to show up with garlotte's for this movie oh shit the other day another guy bought McDonald breakfast sag says that call my random if you could do a movie in you said the tables like call and ran on and I've always said that's not about rules that's about being a man what you're doing my movie in this fucking peanut butter get a hundred dollars I'll go get these fucking nicely tonight chicken man and they can feed them you know well I'm looking at this table and how light it is and the executive producer comes over to me and Dean Cain me one easy yeah you know I only answered a one-man priced the saver and I'm look at is another Christian that he's so much of a Christian it has cooled on there he's probably making 10,000 a day but for a hundred you'd be old uncle Christian yeah well he's a newbie revolver at for the Christian budget for food I didn't Jesus yeah yeah so this is why with people they're not just confuse the Santeria the confusion thousands of fuckin religion and because they throw away manhood and they throw away who they are you think really like is the interesting point you said about like religion is actually hard it's not an easy thing to do it's not marriage yeah yes it's not you have to follow barriers my career's products exceeded about four years ago yeah I started doing podcast I started talking people my story was gonna bring you paperwork from one of my reads about four years ago okay where he said that I'm a disciple of like the form of le one I sound rough but my words give you a meaning yeah and he said he was the lawyer family is my dad and while your torture people you're really gonna strike success and so I started doing my podcast I never wanted to be haha hehe yeah I always wanted you to get something right yeah at the airfield ago Jesus fuckin Christ this guy didn't want you know and I looked at the you know I looked at those papers from time to time I had like I try to read every August while I think the oldest just just my birth date is in November I'd say November like the week before Thanksgiving I I think it's the 18th out of work Mike might say I said - real birthday is November the worst ones that'll happen we have been over I'm dying I got arrested to go to prison there's no I hate things that have happened they fuckin November so so it's a reminder of the things you know the number for obatala is 8 I thought it was born 8th yeah it's just only fucking thing hello it is a fine reminder there's so many things as a reminder and that's why I respect it I live by it you know he doesn't want me to I was thinking about how a guy like me should always have a weapon on yeah even because even if I'm not getting the time I love to shoot somebody who's fucking mark your assailant if I pull up in some guys leaving is like fuck you mourn you shooting pull around shoot him in the head saying try this Mac yet but that's the reason why I bother I wasn't wanting to have a good yeah I like other but you I'm using it how you do it means I even realize I'm watching let me just check through the question you can feel very good and yeah I'm should be quiet stop coming I'd like to give you the rich version though we know we could do this for 10 hours if you like it yeah break it down again appear we don't do blowing all the effect no no I I am you know what ever since I stopped doing my life change I know in my heart if I have even put it to my nose again he'll be all oh yeah I am so good go Papa las graces right now yeah I feel I feel this is what a buck Alliance he's healthy he helps people you know who would would you think about people like did you know before I looked into it I know my prejudice was always kind of like food exciting this thing about it you know yeah sees me there's a hoody side cool yeah but just like my mother tapped into that dark side of it but you tap into that dark side of it there ain't no coming back for old half of that thing I've heard thousands of stories I've heard stories when I was a kid of people going a trial for something walk into a courtroom and blown powder and the judge fuck it it's not small thing I've heard so many who do fucking story yeah and I came for a long time when I was younger I would do that you know about Olivia for real give me 300 miles on Fridays like a fuck this chick that's not a little mouth a lot done modernize your health your your mind MP strength is your mind so much that you want where how to do those things yeah you know he strength was here we wanna make it up I have this powder itself it's uh its shell out of the Chateau little buckle eyes you know okay I forget what it's called Takuya with the long-stalled buffalo it's it's like show what do you do that you pull up break it up my prey prey from enemies I pray for my wife I pray that my god right Allah this Amman this is the other part my mom died when I was 16 I was probably crazy and I was 28 alright so that's 12 years and 12 years there was a thousand bad situations I'm still here somebody watched me so yeah every time I get scared about my daughter and my wife on the target or I don't go with her I always say to myself Wow at the other thing after I go through all the emotions of what if this happens when one of those fucking morons I had a little psychotherapist to hypnotize me I go to myself what am I worried about my fallout took care of me always yeah years in the back really bad time I always know I was going to come back home I just didn't know what she was at the fight I was at the faith yeah I always knew something I didn't know what I always you know when I was 16 17 18 19 I wanted to die I just didn't have the balls to pull the trigger because I knew and I knew that over baccala then Tanith means you handle a ton of thousands of stories money you know just go easy go jesus fucking crashing alright I was on my way out no son I go to fucking a supermarket on a lady walks past when a person wherever will fill with money sticking out and all I do is tap yep over the falls just a thousand stories down don't you say you were a bad person and they just absolutely here I was out of my admirer the smell when society takes your mother at 14 15 and you believe you fucking central nervous belief system brings down my fucking god take away my mother fuck that bitch fuck him you know or fuck him a lot of the world fuck the world so for three or four or five or six years I ran with fuck the world in town I didn't give a fuck if you left that camera there it was money yeah if you left I didn't give a fuck about a little body because the world didn't give a fuck about me and then people started caring about me and that turned me around a lot of good friends from high school stuff that and we took one about Santa Maria power willing to cut a chicken's head off for you yeah I needed kind of cobble chickens heads own poor chicken yeah but you know a lot of people got chickens heads off the sacrificial addition yes guy were talking to he was saying that he's really angry about having allowed her chickens herself to sitting on Thanksgiving in my skin till billions of fucking turkeys all right each year she's a kind of sacrifice how was his argument anyone know it's funny like I feel bad I'm not involved in mourning I'm waiting to see if I go to Cuba take care of some stuff yeah he said he been back to Cuba no you can leave that there's a human chameleon Downey okay the real real heavy-duty Centuri guys they were fucking thousands that's all for God Miami the poor guy at the improv and his guy just to give you a safe 15 grand to give yelling LA and boom 15 fucking where before that's my yeah that's before anything cuz the religious gotta be 40 50 to get it now 60 grand - the animals shit yeah you got up that money - I paid seven eight grand I think me and my mom paid 7 grand this is before other part of it King yeah and now people have to run like a corporation I guarantee you excision is like some inflationary pressure you know mean light yes in like the dealers and all that is flashing out baby Maury as English is the prices which is not like price people out in a way all the people always find people always going with one set but it's funny there was a lot of shams became that's how shams you know they have followed by eat but there's a lot of religions that come in this world that people confuse of Santeria and eats me alive but the guy in Mexican drug dealers killing bodies sacrifice people now that's probably something a little do that's not I don't want to put that's where people confuse themselves in Santeria but some to put better people to know it's distracting you to make your heart strong Lisa each one of these Saints helps you a different way like in my last couple reads at like wow I know Google that really good hop in my career yeah well goons been cutting down trees or blooms a saint he's that he's the master liar yes I better not fucking buzzsaws fucking my phone so he's been cutting out to the world from how you know letting the word out you know and I'm very fortunate then they say you know I say I say well I want to get into it what's your advice to me I'm going to go to Barnes & Noble I want you to read everything up a lot I want you to read everything up line because I'm hoping that after you read better after you you read first 41 0 120 days before months you'll say this is too much I won't here know what you're getting yourself into I want either hang out with authentic people like friends I want you to scoop it out the authentic Cuban for the Brazilians don't know what that thing is know the kind that I was messing around with here in LA he messes around with the Brazilian people but he goes to fuckin have he goes right now fucking this guy goes is sold just he just took two here two ceremonies over there two people that I know went to half ago with him that's gotta be fuckin brutal be long Africa seen him but uh and then it's not what people think it was never that for me it became that in my house now I look back at that I'm like what a fuckup they dig little and little thing that they would have kept it simple my mother was gonna follow alive but that whole group of people turned into Sun mouth they turned in the Santeria to do whatever bad thing they know I think I saw was about you give that saved a million dollars II can't spend that he's an empathy that goes into somebody's fuckin popularity stop selling you a dream that you could do drugs and do whatever the fuck you prefer to do carry weapons and that's what they want you to do up above really that was their intention yeah that's the African gods wanted you to do that's my conversation


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The legendary Cuban comic gives us the lowdown on life, love and what to do if you find yourself at a 'booty party'. UNION magazine is available at www.unionmag.co.uk

Watch our other Santeria vid at http://youtu.be/XtrsLGzjaNA

Check out Joey's Podcast at www.joeydiaz.net/podcast/

Check out our website at www.unionfeatures.com

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