Kingsman: The Golden Circle Angry Movie Review

by: AngryJoeShow

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[Music] well howdy y'all we just got back from Kingsman the Golden Circle and well I hate to be the bearer of bad news especially when I'm as excited as I was for this film all right I'm gonna talk like that the whole film so I'm starting to lose my voice so hopefully I'll come back here shortly but we did go out and check out Kingsman - I'm super excited yeah looking good I was really sad like a man I really hope they make the Statesmen real fucking cool in the film and what directed by Matthew Vaughn which I really appreciated the Superman tease right at the beginning the camera kind of pans in and it says Kingsman on the store and they've got the the mannequins in the background and the S is right there on the chest like Superman and I could clearly tell he's a fan of the Superman he's in talks to try to direct the Man of Steel - now I really wanted him to direct mantas heel - but after this film I'm hi hoes like no right well uh okay yeah maybe maybe still but I think that it's not as good as the first this suffers a little bit of the sequel itis oh yeah where you got lots of callbacks to the original - well that was honestly in my opinion some of the best parts of the film when when it reminded me of the original it's just what happens here is it goes beyond cartoons alright I'd have to say there was an interesting cameo that lasts a really long time yeah we'll talk we'll talk about that in spoilers is unnecessarily long you have to be a big big fan of this particular gentleman because he almost became a main character so I'm get a little sidetracked basically a story of Kingsman the Golden Circle is you've got this underground drug empire that pretty much has control of all the drugs in the world now that basically sneaks in some sort of virus and puts the whole world at risk and attacks the Kingsmen headquarters and our our king's men are pretty much the last members of their order and they have to find some help and obviously stop this global threat and they find some help from their local from their cousins over there me us away they went real hard on the Southerners hey there's nobody from the north apparently in the Statesmen I was getting a little annoyed by that but hey you know if that's what you think of AmeriCorps that's fine but what do you think of the film it was fine there's flies yeah so my expectations were not as high as their expectations yeah I knew this was going to be a turn your brain off things are gonna blow up there's gonna be bad southerners because we knew that spinning which we knew that Oh although we knew all the things that we thought were gonna happen happen story was Esav spinning some characters I wanted to be in it for really long time worked and some ones that I didn't know we're gonna be in there we're all in there for a really long time I thought it was an enjoyable turn your brain off action movie don't go rush out and see it but I'm gonna do whatever that better opening sequence you seen in the trailer where he jumping on the car and he's having the fight during the chase fantastic like I was really wowed and impressed by the way the camera moves and and and how it how they get these fucking shots so hats off to you know Matthew Vaughn there for for being able to direct action really really well unfortunately it seems like the dialogue in the story didn't really match the high amounts of action what do you think Joe honestly I did not like the plot point in the plot point or some of the subplot points yeah completely he just turned me off to m'p Rishi ated that they kept the storyline going they brought back many characters from the original they felt as if they needed to bring back the best part call further yeah and as as Galahad and I don't know he didn't really seem to factor in too much he didn't have sort of the badass impact and really the reason to sort of resurrect him from from the original now I I kind of respected the original in the sense that nobody's safe and people die yeah and that's kind of Matthew L Jackson's character shoots a little bit of a spoiler here if you hadn't seen the first one but he shoots and kills the first Galahad and that's how we get the younger guy taking over Galahad but bring him back here and but they do kill off a bunch of characters in this film and and and kind of unceremoniously so yeah the whereas the first one was real played for some real motion here almost every single character that dies gets no real send-off except for one in particular which we won't spoil so yeah I don't know it really felt flat it did I mean just go over there was a lot of times where they killed someone off and the only reason that we knew the characters were said is they literally said I'm sad because of this reason there was no showing of any and AD they not mentioned it I would have totally forgot the people that's right push that emotional card on you so many times they're the problem and for me the problem was the Spencer suspension of disbelief got it mounted a little bit too much here and I'm like oh okay not now you do okay oh all right fuck it you know and and while I appreciate some elements like robot dogs and fucking you know robot things and here and there and sort of the tongue-in-cheek fifties style of the main bad guy you know I like a lot of that but in this film pushes that cartoon envelope way past acceptable levels where the original was doing a sort of parody of the spy films but it showed restraint in certain areas this one just says fucking and it goes really far and it goes far in the comedic directions that it Lou it's own audience so you're kind of doesn't really know what it wants to be well it has competent action scenes the story itself meanders a little bit and we get subplots between the Swedish princess that that has to be fuller that she would allow you to fuck her in the ass if you save the world okay they call back to that several times and you know how her relationship is going to be with this spy who sometimes has to fuck chicks to save the world you know and so a lot of these subplots sort of fall on its face and the return of the original Galahad is like hmm yeah but I won't say the Statesman I wanted the statesman's impact in the film to be good and original and it was but then I ended with a biker yeah yeah the red Viper I think he did a fantastic job as statesman made the statesman look fucking cool however I think this thing wasn't she was a little it was in the film a little too much you know I came for Kingsman well I wanted to see statesman and I'm fucking dressed up as a statesman right but it was just too much you have Halle Berry's character who is another sort of you know wizard or information person for these Knights she's their own Merlin and her and what's know Channing Tatum characters in there tequila Agent tequila they all have you know alcohol names over there in the states and this really didn't have much to do in the film it's like what's the point of having these and you see the point it by the end of the film that they're trying to set up another sequel with these characters and and by then I'm like nah I mean if you had to reach down deep in there and pull back an obvious dead character because you're scared that maybe you know it wouldn't work without him I'm not gonna go see a Kingsman three just four Channing Tatum and Halle Berry it's not happening especially with the weak writing in this film you know performances by the the what would you think about performances the performance is really good I think that they did the best they could with what they it was really really hard to believe the motivations of the bad guys made no goddamn sense and it was just kind of thrown in there this cartooning yeah it taught me is this drug lord Julianne Moore and you know what the present yeah not just her though like other bad guys in the film but we talked about later that just kind of come in and you just didn't believe them but the actors plot like the actors did a good job but it was just poor writing whereas this one had I believe it had a lot more CGI than the first yeah and that kind of took me out a little bit of the action scenes when that would happen and I think that the strength was in all of the choreography the action choreography is sort of martial arts with the British you know gentleman style that stuff was great and we got less of that in this film and an action in in sort of a different way so ultimately a little bit of a disappointment for me so I'm curious to see what these guys final ratings are and stay tuned for our spoiler section where we going to tell you exactly why we felt the film fell flat and went a little too far in places so let's start with the other Joe okay well first of all yeah I did like the action I like the Statesmen gunplay that was pretty oh yeah fuckin that were the one scene with Pedro Adrian tequila he was like killing people he knew how to use equilibrium he was gun kata Pete gun cut top but Texan style you know there are some good scenes in this film thank you for bringing that but I did not like the plot metal made no sense I did not believe Julianne Moore as the bad guy wasted characters there's yeah wait some good news yeah and basically I'm have to give this a 6 slightly above average yeah I see it feels rough right yeah I would again yeah would you recommend people to go out and see it if you do yes okay what about us so I agree so I agree with the rating but for different reasons than OJ I liked Julianne Moore's character it was like she's supposed to be a little crazy and they did an okay job kind of explaining it so I didn't mind that at all so the action scenes were pretty good some of the action scenes were pretty good some of them made no sense and added nothing to the film and you'd have a really long time so there's times where there you're supposed to be excited and it's thrilling and you're sitting there come on it's it's were only an hour in the movie we resolve this so we can get onto the next team that seemed pretty long - yeah a longer movie that may be unnecessarily long or maybe that's just because it did the Middle's are sort of dragged this didn't do a good job blending cuz this is like an action comedy in some time and they lost Kingsman was actually humorous samuel l.jackson was incredible because he you know he's the bad guy that's afraid of violence and that was fun it was humorous but it wasn't trying to it wasn't to be funny the whole time this one tried to be funny oh haha yeah and so there were some scenes where you know it's at the end you know we're at the climax of the film and then they're trying to make you laugh and it just felt inappropriate like it wasn't a good blend of action and comedy so I do also give this one a 6 there are some crass scenes in this about how he needs to get there I didn't understand is that a tracker it needs to go on to a mucous membrane and so they choose court sort of an AHA an obvious choice obviously not anyway so I promise so six out of ten six out of ten yeah man as excited as I was and is as amazing as the trailer looked you will go you will go in and come out slightly disappointed I was a big fan of the first and I think the first is far superior to this film but if you want more of the action that so so I think this you could go and see if you enjoyed the first and you want more knowing it's not gonna be as good as the first but if you've never experienced Kingman Kingsman don't go in with this one watch the original save a bit of money I'm gonna go six out of ten as well we are being rough on I'm sure we're gonna downloaded like a motherfucker because we're beat we're critics all right not just regular moviegoers and we got to tell you for all intents and purposes it will probably disappoint you if you're looking for it to you know exceed the expectations so uh that's it guys thank you very much for watching and stick around if you want spoilers all right guys see you on the next angry Joe show hey guys

all right now welcome to the spoiler section we can get all the nitty-gritty you know Joey don't duh explain to me Papi's plan why does she want to legalize it just to get taxed she would get more money if she wanted to legalize all drugs give a little context she wants to legalize all drugs because she's this huge drug kingpin queen pins but yeah by legalizing and having attacks and all these other things she makes significantly less money yes it made absolutely no god but she knows who she is so I don't know why that's why I was like why would have been hiding nobody knows who the fuck she is it doesn't yes I know it doesn't make sense I was more okay I was more willing to let that go what would've are two nice no yeah fuck is up with Elton John being in this movie for 20 minutes I agree man even a even if you're big fan of Elton John man you got to be a huge fan of Elton John he was almost a main character he doing karate moves and just throw away jokes with hey I'm a celebrity I'm a legend and this and that and I'm like alright man I came for Kingsman not for Elton John when he was on there I thought he was gonna be a real short cameo yeah and he says fuck and I'm lost I was like this is gonna be great and then he's by the end by discussing the entire movie it's like by the time he marries his Swedish princess and he's like yeah I'm like haha go away and I don't wanna be like go away you know yeah so the thing is we have all of these suspension of disbelief yes is a cartoon world but it was inappropriate in some places that it's like really that's fuckin stupid so everybody starts to get infected but get they get infected all at the same time as if there's drugs are distributed at the same time at every hour on every day a virus right somebody would have got infected first and the authorities would have been like hard quarantine these people and stuff and they sort of do that here but here everybody gets infected at the same time and they all put them in cages which makes no sense they put them in prisons and stack them on the little no it's supposed to be like a little joke but it was stupid as fuck and you would have got more emotional impact out of cramming people into stadiums and then being like let us out but you do know the people are dying because they literally show you a couple people dying but there's oh yeah like someone's eyes exploiting and bleeding into their eyes I mean and then they change scenes and there's no no one mentions oh people are dying down yeah no no you still have time to save the world the the biggest thing is it's got a little bit of a political message here which I'm really surprised the way they use Fox News they were like hey Fox News you want to be in our movie we'll pay you and they're like yeah sure let us review the scenes first to make sure you're not making fun of us and they were like yeah you know it'll be fine and then partly Fox News sees well don't you pee on my back and tell me it's raining because that's exactly what they did they took a big shit on Fox News without them knowing it you know so they're the bajor news source in this and the president says you know what fuck all these drug I just I'm okay yeah yeah look at win-win they're all fuckin druggies and they'll die so I'm gonna make the decision to kill all these people which is fuckin stupid and they try to put emotional element with his aide who also needs you know medical medicinal stuff or whatever oh yeah she did cocaine that's read recipes and he doesn't give a shit and there's several scenes where you just yeah you know I can forgive stuff like using a parachute in order to stop no let's look on the beginning let's go from the you know there is the classic scene it's been in how many Bond movies where they're on the ski slopes in the Italian Alps and they're going down in the gondola thing but this one can rotate but apparently through a remote control iPad that the bad guy has on the cliff face that can make it spin and like put massive g-forces on yeah so much so that they're blacking out so let's say I like to G's 3 G's before I don't know when you black out but these fees are blacking out so good old laser lasso cuts a hole in it mhm and then what laser lassos that steel cable and cuts it off and here we go and we don't hit this eye but we sort of ski down the hill and then there's all these open American old people on the Italian Alps in a retirement condo speaking English talking about like seeing the things sliding towards them and then it'd have been funnier as if they were Italians I yeah yeah and then the UH the Kingsmen eggsy puts Pedro Pascal's back through the little hole that he cut and pulls the parachute cord and rather than rip his torso naturally has this several ton glass case and it stops right people and and but so stuff like that we could forgive because you're doing hyper stylized action but at certain times the movie wants to take itself serious but it has these big holes and logic like it turns out that agent whiskey Pedro Pascal the you know the cowboy wearing hat Channing Tatum not in the film he's not a faculty I was wasted he was I was really pissed off about that Jeff Bridges wasted alright so and and Halle Berry nothing to do so he comes back at the end and they have a great fight at the end but by then I've had a little bit too much of the spinning camera work but he says well I can't let you you know release the antidote because my girlfriend died by a junkie and my stock price is gonna go up yeah whatever some bullshit but he's like slide that box with the codes that releases the antidote over here motherfucker just fucking shoot the damn president or lasso that with the electric instead of putting the lasso around you know fucking Galahad's neck so you know and the antidote actually being released with by the drums Andra there's no fucking way would reach anybody or nobody would barely get the antidote and they know where all the drug addicts are at in the world was that programmed into each individual drone and so a lot of these things piled on to each other and it was in such excess with Elton John in your face every fucking time when I want to focus on the Kingsmen I wanna focus on you know the bad guys being bad and shit and whatever Elton John beats near to death three professional bodyguard he doesn't fly the karate jump kick we're not in a while working for both cuz he's like I'm sure he's winking at the camera he's looking he's winking smiling then he kicks them it just it was awful it started to break down by the third act I was really impressed by the first I gotta tell ya the taxicab scene the fact that the Kingsmen group is fought they literally hack into it's a mistake that they leave this robotic arm behind that he just finished fighting this rejected Kingsman hacks into the whole system finds out where all the Kings were on launches missiles they don't have anti-missile defenses fine fine fine but that it kills off all the characters from the first film you know we get one back but you know it's just like that that would set up tension and you're like okay fuck you they need to go get help from the Statesmen and they first meet the Statesmen channing tatum does manage to take out two fucking kicks the shit out of them but that's not enough for me to watch the channing tatum king's enough no thanks but at that point is when the film starts to go downward what did you think of the music so i was excited because although the first trailer frank baby although is good music they play like Frank Sinatra's my way the trailer was like oh this is kind of cool maybe he's gonna be moving he wasn't in there there was a lot of weird like not 80s and 90s pop songs done in the country style with with it the final one like the word when they played like a country version of Rob I just like I'm done I yes and I really love the church scene from the first one yeah because he's doing its play it's during the guitar solo of Freiburg right yeah and so it's really exciting and then this one they just didn't do nothing reaches that level in this one and and I think a lot of people will expect that and they won't get it in fact the final boss battle is incredibly disappointing they go to this this Empire apparently has all the drugs right now so they'll have all the money the profits were 150 billion dollars right but they go there and there's literally six fucking guards in this mega compound there's six guards and two robotic dogs I mean that's the minimums to deliver the antidotes of literally every one more so they approached this area Merlin steps on him no it's exited steps on a mine and Merlin saves his life and steps on the mine for him and then he starts singing this got-dang song that I like but is so overplayed in movies for some ways in these days and Channing Tatum movie Logan lucky was all over there to country road and so he's singing country road and it's supposed to be this emotional thing and I'm like I'm tired of this big song so you know strong mark strong kills himself to take out the six guards that were guarding his column then all the chefs and the fucking barber and shit has to take up guns to defend the drug lords who's about to take did you play so in Fallout 4 one of the expansions is like nuclear world like her base look exactly like yeah yeah I I liked the 50s thing and I but I was hoping they'd do more with it really do more with it so robotic dollies it's a cool idea on paper like fucking sharks with fucking laser beams attached to their heads they were trying to do something like that but it just Oh alright guys wasn't my voice anything else so eggsy at the beginning the movie after he gets out of the taxi scene fight he swims through a river of shit because he has to get to some movie so everyone's expecting he's gonna go meet you know the swedish king and his girlfriend's parents and it turns out he's meeting his friends at a birthday party that didn't matter didn't seem like it there was an insertion ain't nothing was urgent about it and i'll in a minute I just realized that disconnect I thought he went to go see his girlfriend no he swam through this the poop sewer no they never do drugs and deliver the birthday cake that's it yeah I gotta say yeah and there's and there's a lot of uh you know his friends dying for no reason the guy that takes care of his dog is fucking dead oh that's the thing that pissed me off so you're so exci has his buddy house it for him in his house of course is like a spider right yeah it's great cute dogs you said cute dogs all over the place in this bill the the dog wants to get into the spy room and so the the friend accidentally lets him in the spy room sits down at the desk to starts fiddling with stuff and then the wall opens up and there's hand grenades and the super glass is like nothing's hidden at all I was just literally a switch on the desk was like all right this is a table he pressed a button he couldn't hide that a little better from his friends so that friend gets fucking dead his dog gets dead I'm like oh yeah it's gonna be a John wick situation up in here but the film never gets into that wishes that next year the first act fucking amazing he just you know cracking heads murdering people and stuff by the end of the film and he feel like you know it should have been gratifying to kill off these these characters and stuff in ways like this but because there wasn't an emotion you were like uh kind of dick yeah you couldn't arrest him yeah I'm gonna fight you with my arm behind my back the reason why Venice no I liked eggsy it was probably the better part he was one of the better parts of the film it's just the material here didn't live up to it and it took it too far in certain areas but yeah also they think it was really super convenient so it was really convenient that that when they gave so at the very end Julianne Moore has this super the super thing that you typed the password into and everyone magically gets the antidote with Amazon drones and they had to get this password and so there's rather than like a truth serum or anything they just literally inject her with heroin yeah and kill her and accidentally kill her oops oh yeah right huge right before she died she just goes Viva Las Vegan and falls down and dies dies oh that she said must have been an ass word right yeah I gave her too much even though it seemed like he did it on purpose to kill her ah but but your girlfriend like everything that you would you would be a little more fucking careful yeah yeah he's so stupid he can hack into it he can hack into that guy's like robotic arm with this watch just by going all right I control your arm now and he couldn't fake me couldn't hack a computer terminal mm-hmm really and then Joe talk about the final scene they set up here to add insult to injury the very final scene honestly I forgot about the movie now well it's a Channing Tatum's character shows up in England or Scotland I think manly and he's got him in he's got a bowler hat on and he's got the throwback cowboy boots but he's in a Kingsman suit anyway double-breasted suit and he's about to be the next Kingsman all right and Halle Berry's gonna be out there gonna be the new Merlin no thanks new whiskey no she wants to be an aged so why so that was I thought it was gonna be a big point she mentions like in passing that she's trying to be she's trying to be the field agent over and over and over but whisky keeps voting against her the bad guy oh that one of the bad guy turns out to be the bad guy but we didn't know anything about that so he's just he's a secret sexist as well as a dick yeah yeah rebuilding the fucking you know okay and I felt like maybe they kick in the kick in America well while we're down honestly I thought they were gonna sort of the the station where we're gonna be cool and it seemed like it was more glorifying you know England it was America there was a lot of spinning in this movie Channing Tatum spins a lot he plugs a hole in a leaking whiskey barrel with chewing tobacco which was super gross Jeff Bridges is constantly spinning whiskey into it are don't tequila in a spit bucket for the car and then plus we're off wait we have dudes that are fucking assholes on our fucking team and yeah I don't know I just wanted us to be cousins and brothers and in equals or actually I would lean more towards all the king's men to be cooler and the state's messages back them up but they they kind of went a little overboard on how in America air but is a dumbass you know or everybody's a Republican it wants to kill all drug users and stuff even though there would be more compassionate even amongst you know people that do think everybody who does drugs is a criminal still when you're packing everybody into fucking cages and shit and and not one military US military guy guys I'm not executing this as order this is a concentration camp as well yeah I am NOT executing this order you know no generals would be like we're not fucking doing that you know president so I don't know anyways why was Jeff Bridges constantly sick sniffing his two fingers it was it was a cigar yo yeah when he had the cigar made sense you sniffing his fingers after he was holding cigar but the rest movie fingers watch the movie I love several times a movie can damage it moving it work all right clarification dirty shootout it was the Kingsmen and statesmen mmm was Harry shoots whiskey it was like well he's a traitor yeah why cuz he saw he's on bloke the bike knocked down the vial that was his only indication is that he knocks the vial antidote out of the hand shall I get down hmm yeah that was a little excessive also we alluded to it but didn't want to spoil it the the tracking device yeah eggsy needs to put a tracking device in the vagina so we get a nice close-up of the chicks pussy fucking cheeky fingering her and yes so so guys in the theatre I mean I guess if you're if you're into the running man yeah you know you're like huh if it needed to get in the bloodstream why couldn't you just I don't know put it in her mouth you're a spy you ever watched as a knock out function but so yeah they shoot this thing all fucking film long but they couldn't use that but they did it in order to set up the love subplot where he's got a fucker or he's got to woo her and there's any and he calls his Swedish princess girlfriend and says I gotta do this and she gets mad at so it's to set that up and it's for like the fuck dude bros like yeah do you finger you know this greatest movie ever fuck yeah the chick wanted to get peed on like just watch what's a wide why it's like why did we just immediately jump there like was that necessary the movie she's like if you want a penis peeing on me well that wouldn't but yeah that's the point you may wear like if she's into that and just you know put your finger in a mouth yeah you ain't you ain't a manatee pee on the girl or what happy gilmore all right guys thank you so much for watching and we'll see you on the next angry Joe show later partner


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