[Music] hey everyone Kayla here welcome back to another video are you one of those people that think to yourself you know oh my gosh I had so much more energy when I was in active restriction when I was on some kind of diet when I was in the midst of my disordered eating when I was you know over exercising why did I seem to have more energy when I was you know there and a color deficit when I was starving myself when I was overall miserable you know mentally physically emotionally yet I still had more energy then than I do now say you know you may be in your recovery now whether it's earlier on or whether it took a few months for you to get winded and exhausted like I talked about in the other video so it was either prolonged or it happened earlier on or it happened right off the bat right when you started eating more food more cars more fats more proteins more amounts more calories in general and then you took on recovery so now you know you feel more exhausted you feel more tired you feel more weak you feel more joint pain you feel more pain and your feet and your knee is swelling and you're feeding knees in your face and your hands all over the place in your back and so you're wondering you know it why does this happen now when I'm supposed to be recovering and I'm actually supposed to be healing you know shouldn't I have more energy now that I'm taking in more energy but yeah this makes sense right so am i doing something wrong like was restricting actually it better for me because you know or should I go back to restricting because I felt so much more energy then so you know things like these and I remember thinking the same thing it sent me back in my recovery set me back into a couple of relapses it kept me stuck in quasi recovery for quite some time so because I thought that I was just becoming unhealthy I thought that I was just losing my fitness that all the fitness that I'd worked hard for I thought that I was just you know becoming unhealthy because and I blamed it on the body fat i blamed it on that saying you know I have more body fat and that's why I'm getting more winded and exhausted and that's why I'm tired all the time and see you know at a lower body fat percentage I was healthier but really if we're honest with ourselves and we look back because our brain tends to forget the bad and so if we look back and be honest with ourselves we remember that there was something that pushed us into choosing recovery and that was probably because you were miserable in all these other areas of your life but yet you're focusing on the one or two good things that you got from it good things right so we got that false tons of energy so it's not real sustainable energy and that's what I want to talk about in this video of why remind yourself every day everyday that you are choosing recovery because you do have to choose recovery every day especially when those thoughts are strong tempting you and screaming that needs to go back to restricting to go back to over exercising to control the situation because you feel out of control and you feel like you're you know losing something that you've had for so long even though it's not been good for you right that finished scream really loud when it is losing power but that doesn't mean it has to win the battle no matter how hard of screams you know deep down what you're doing why you're doing it and so you choose recovery again and again and again until you recover so anyways that's off-topic but so I wanted to talk about why are you feeling more tired now in your recovery versus when you're an active restriction so even if you were just you know and ketogenic if you were paleo if you were a low carb or you were high fat or low fat or you know low sugar no sugar no bread no pasta no you know oil no salt you know all of these things okay or if you were in anorexia you were orthorexia you were bulimic okay so all of these things right doesn't matter okay you're still you know starving your body in some way and just because the behavior may not be the same or the mindset behind it might not be the same you're still doing detriment to your body there's a couple things that I want to talk about so number one like of course you're going to feel more tired in recovery because you're coming from in years and years of starving yourself and overworking your body and not giving it enough energy to make up for all of the breakdown breakdown you know muscle tissue so you want fueling your body properly enough for the amount of exercise that you were doing so of course your body is going to go in like hibernation mode for some time and it's going to want to rest and as long as it wants to it's going to create that fatigue and rest response or that communication to rest on purpose until it heals properly and heals enough and it gets enough energy in so when you're taking an energy and you know you're trying to not even only use those calories to maintain day to day like a normal person you're using all that energy to make up for all the damage that you're coming from from over-exercising from the stress of malnourishment from malnourishment itself of course you're going to be tired from some time in recovery for some time I was in months maybe here even like however long it takes it is what it and it's gonna take as long as it takes so don't worry just be in the now and embrace it and it will happen it will happen things will get better you will overcome this tiredness and fatigue like I was saying your body is going to as a rebound effect from all of the stress for years and years that you put your body through of you know of exercise and under eating that in recovery it finally has a chance to rest for once so your body's going to try to take advantage of that so why does it feel like it has an opportunity to rest well and restriction after restriction are over exercising so we don't have enough energy coming in to make up for that energy expenditure the body senses that it's in a scarce environment so calories are scarce kinds of foods are scarce variety of foods are scarce the proper balance of carbs fats you know sugars proteins are scarce so what that does is it triggers the this response and the brain to move so to move to survive because if you rested or if huge slept too much when you are starving or malnourished that pretty much meant death so you know your brain has this in it to try to protect you you know way back in the day because it doesn't realize you know the modern day it's changed so drastically so it thinks we're still back you know before we had access to all these grocery stores on every corner and the Amazon had like all of these different sources that have created a lot of convenience right this response to compulsively move to compulsively exercise to compulsively be doing something and you know those thoughts that are produced to burn more calories or to be always moving order to you know be fearful of calories or be fearful of sitting too long or feel guilty for missing a workout feel guilty for not going to the gym when you were scheduled to typically these are all as a response to your body and brain thinking that it's in this environment and then it needs to move to get away from the scarce environment the scarce environment that there's not enough food and calories and energy and it needs to move ASAP for your survival in order to find an environment that is an abundance so an abundance of food so that's why it creates that false sense of energy because it's not like real sustainable energy that's why you were miserable on top of feeling more energy and on top of it if you felt a lot of pain the pain response actually gets suppressed because if you felt too much pain in your legs or your arms for moving too much or from too much muscle tissue breakdown which happens when you're constantly moving trying to find a new abundant source of energy a new abundant environment what's the natural response to pain and inflammation and swelling to rest right to stay off of that until you feel better you until that goes away until that heals so the body also suppresses that pain response because then it means death because you don't get to that new environment quick enough so that's why you know that wants it quick - so that's why you feel energy all throughout the day perhaps you can't sleep at night because the body and brain is like no we can't sleep we can never sleep until we get to that new environment with you know a lot of food now this isn't for everyone some people slept great in their restriction or over exercise and then in recovery they have insomnia so this isn't for everyone but this can explain for people who do feel these sensations in their recovery versus restriction but again it doesn't justify the restriction it doesn't justify the over exercising as being healthy for you because remember if you really look back look at all the negatives that drove you into recovery okay Eenie bringing will try to come up with all these they're great excuses of why you should go back series shifting or over exercising and their lives okay the real you wants to recover the real you was drawn to recoveries for and asking questions and questioning why you were feeling that in all these other areas of your life right so really out of all of it your body is just sending that communication signal that's how it can communicate to you right so we're trying to learn how to be intuitive right or normal and really all that means is listening to our body so although the body can't communicate verbally to us like we are consciously that's how we communicate but the body communicates with you know by producing hormones such as hunger and satiety cues which are fueled by hormones leptin and ghrelin so the same thing with fatigue those are signs those are communication signals two breasts that something needs to be addressed and it needs rest that's why in recovery that's your new environment the once you start eating more because you're like oh my gosh I need to recover you found some source that you know you realize that you need to eat more and rest so you took on recovery and that's why when you start to eat more and rest and you're not you know still compulsively exercising and you show your body by communicating to your body that you know there's a lot of food that's going to be coming in now so the body and brain gets that signal that's it is able to rest finally because it's found it's an abundant environment which is just recovery it doesn't know that it's in the same environment that it's been in it just all it knows is that environment is scarce environment is abundant because of what has been happening you'll see as time goes on for some it's quicker for others it's longer you know a lot of people report like 10 months a year even a year and a half when they start to finally feel all of that energy coming back and that's not to say that's gonna happen for you it really all depends on where you're coming from the state of your body how committed and fully embraced you are and the recovery process really it's as simple as that so maybe by understanding this we'll ease your mind a little bit about those thoughts that come pop up telling you that what you're doing is wrong what you're doing is that what you're doing is unhealthy what you're doing is actually the most healthiest thing you can do right now you can't compare yourself to someone who isn't coming from a passive restriction who isn't coming from a passive over exercising and yo-yo dieting for years and years or anorexia or any of that you're in your own lane right so it just because somebody else out of ignorance says you know if you're not moving you know that's why you're feeling tired all the time or if you're not you know you're not moving so that's why you're becoming unhealthy or all of these mindsets that are pretty common in our culture you're different okay you're you're not healthy enough to exercise yes what you need is to rest and just know it's not that the food is that it's not to blame the food orthorexia people thinking like oh see it's the car so see it's the fact OC it's the processed foods they're not good for me they're making me tired you know I was better off before I had so much energy no it's really because that your body is finally sensing that there's abundance of food coming in and that it can finally rest so all out of all of it your body just feels safe finally it's felt constantly in that firefight mode like survival no trying to just survive it and so that's why it's been telling us to move move move compulsively move all the time if you ever sat down you felt guilty all the time or you just always felt the urge to move or you had the energy to move that's why so now your body is starting to feel safe does it feel completely safe yet but that comes slowly over time but it just means that your body is starting to feel safe and so it's really a positive thing so try to look at it as a positive thing these these things can help to understand what's going on so then you can feel more at ease and not so guilty and just realizing that you know you're nursing yourself back to health and you deserve every bite you deserve every second impressed and you need it okay you're different from someone else you are coming from a lot of damage and depletion and non nourishment energy deficit and you're making up for old listen to your body and find your balance you see this the man Canyon Chad made this for me for Christmas because you know as some of you may know some of you are in my course find your balance breakthrough from quasi recovery so that's the logo he knows how important it is to me so he made this for me what do you guys think would you guys wear one of these would you guys rock these let me know in the comments below if you like these and you would wear one of these maybe I could get them to make more and put them on the site I like you know conscious consuming if it means something positive rather than just wearing something that has no meaning so that's more of what it means to me too so if you guys want that let me know so I want to just really quickly tell you a story because in my like the beginning of recovery I didn't know what was going on still and I was blaming the food because I was coming from you know severe restriction just got off at water fast after being like you know raw vegan and then into vegan for a long time and then into you know cue genic and I just come from all those things trying to heal myself that did not heal me after that it was like several months after and I was just still trying to be a clean eater right this was this place where I was out of control right so I was fed pasta and oh my gosh I was kicking and screaming but that's all I had access to long story short get into the details if you want to read more about that it's a met book but I was kicking and screaming I was pissed off that I even had to eat that but I did it I ended up eating it it wasn't even good at that point because I was so pissed off that I had to eat that even though deep down I love pasta and love pizza and I wanted all of that but I thought it was bad and so I told myself that I didn't like those foods anymore that it was just like the parasites that liked it or it was my food addiction that liked it and blah blah blah so you know and they were evil and bad and off-limits but so I ended up having another bowl of pasta because I was like oh this is kind of good and I was really hungry so I had that and that night for the first time in years I slept through the night like a baby and I wasn't up at like 4:00 or 5:00 a.m. just like wide awake and like thinking about food you know so for the first time I felt that but my brain was like this is bad this is there's seriously something wrong and I felt so guilty because I thought that because I was so tart tired and lethargic the next morning that's you know I had just ruined everything and that I thought that I just you know was terrible and that that food was terrible and I used that to justify like see those cooked foods those processed foods those carbs the cheese that's all bad for me because it made me feel tired and lethargic but that was just the beginning and after that I had like a looking that Beast of binging and I was just like I couldn't go back capture that I've tried to for so long for months and months I tried to go back and forth each weekly dating and then binging because my party got a sense of that it was like oh my gosh we have access to real food eat eat a lot of it and then I was able to sleep more and then it was like a rebound effect and then later on I was starting to not be able to sleep because I was so hungry and I had to keep getting up to eat before bed and then in the middle tonight so just keep that in mind too it can fluctuate throughout your recovery but this is just to touch on you know why you may feel more tired now in your recovery versus back when you were restricting an activist diction active malnourishment active starvation I tried to blame the foods I try to blame the gluten and the bread and the sugar and the carbs and the fats and you know trying to blame all of that the processed foods bla bla bla those were the things that healed me so after the months and months of going back before they finally let go and committed and you know eat those foods all the time every day all day and I still do and that's how we recovered so they're not bad for you like we've been told okay you need to eat you need to eat a balance of those foods and and my coming up video I'm going to talk about the benefits of processed foods in recovery okay so if you guys want to hear about that let me know in the comments below - I hope that this videos helped you I could go more into depth but for this video I want to keep it at back just remember your body is starting to feel safe so don't try to run and hide and be pushed away from recovery because of this disordered eating a star brain that's scared of recovering because then it dies I hope that that eases your mind a little bit more I wanted to read this message that I got recently and I felt like this just resonated with this topic so - not here just for me but other people - and this is only one of the many you know stories success stories that I've heard from other people so she was saying I'm sixteen months into recovery and I finally feel like I have normal energy I have the energy to exercise and ways I enjoy purely to move my body and not out of disordered motives and my way that stabilized and is slowly moving back to my set Waypoint but even after over a year there are days that I just want to lie in bed and watch TV for hours on end something I considered lazy and undisciplined and the disordered eating or eating disorder house that was that and I understand that that as part of the resting and healing process other days I feel great in the morning but then quickly fatigue after only three or four hours of being awake especially on class days it's a long process but it really truly does get better the pain and bloating will subside and the fatigue will fade away even if you don't rest perfectly or you still need to take classes or maintain a job or whatever I hear this a lot that people say you know it does get better there's testimonies like this all the time okay see just know that you're not alone so that's all for this video thanks so much for watching and until next time I'll see you in the next video
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In this video I talk about WHY YOU HAD MORE ENERGY WHEN YOUR WERE RESTRICTING / DIETING AND IN THE EATING DISORDER AND WHY YOU HAVE LESS ENERGY (FEELING LETHARGIC?) IN RECOVERY?