The Sheriff Of Fractured Jaw 1958

by: Anba R

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as I sing to the hills in the valleys I love

the boys from the hills through the valley I love I love

what we're so

I strew every day to the belly Oh I love my loan Oh


what empty paid away poison I never touched it miss import the only possible thing for gout port now then have you located my nephew yet no sir it is to be assumed that mr. Jonathan is still on holiday sir but he started in May it's now September he's missing the partridges he do that anyhow mr. Jonathan is never happy with a gun in his hands I know is anybody else will get within half a mile of him your correspondence might convey some indication if he's whereabouts but I can't read them without my glasses can i has anybody found them yet ah join bitch nobody tell me you've got here where have you been in the library in the library you won't find my nephew in the library I didn't but I found your glasses where will a French novel not a very nice no way just a minute where are you going with that you giving a party or something no sir give this were they for mr. Jonathan was feeling a bit peckish sir mr. Jonathan where is he and the coach-house sir in the Coach House what's he doing there he's working on his contraption sir what do you mean scarring all over the countryside behind everybody's in the Coach House all the time I looked for him there on the 31st out today is the 4th inst take that back to the house and wait sir now look here you get down there you're my lawyer you tell him if he doesn't report tips and go tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock I so disinherit him very good sir get on at the double at the door mr. Tibbs mr. Tibbs ah yeah mr. Toynbee your uncle is inspecting that you'll be at the office of tintin company at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning otherwise you'll be just editing oh I have here a document dealing with a financial position of the company Oh sketcher the place to give you all the details but I'm to advise you the tips of the company is on the verge of bed yes sir how I'll you don't want to follow a tips in company and verges of bankruptcy and all that nonsense yeah take a look at my latest invention it's gonna take us all apart Oh what is it meant to be what is it meant to be mr. Toynbee sir allow me to enlighten you this is a horseless carriage what's the use of a carriage without a horse go to prom Jesse whatever be however if you adjust and this may do the trick

join me it's safe as houses why our way to you that I've drive to drop us in that tomorrow morning nice and early when it's quiet


good morning kids ah ah mr. tip sir this is the pleasure I Darryl Mason how I I'm very good it's the time they arrived yet hello sir but he is expected I say what the devil's is the gun is a television what a Derringer good heavens looks like a funny little pup pistol to me haha yes it may be small but believe me Sai it's highly dangerous do you know sir a gun exactly like this was used to assassinate Abraham Lincoln from base yes indeed sir what sort of a contraption well the the attachment is a device that we're developing sir for gentlemen who might like to stroll around darkest Africa or somewhere wearing a gun which will not to cause an unsightly bulge in a well-cut suit I'd say that's a perfectly splendid idea well how's your work may I may I demonstrate oh please do you know I'm a bit of an inventor myself but if she saw each fixed really armed the gun is held in place by a spring until the muscle is flexed and then it is propelled forward into will go on show me I'm afraid it didn't quite perfected fine Joe you're late good morning good morning mr. Dundee so nice to see you sir do sit down isn't this another lovely day now perhaps in the quiet clean peaceful surroundings we can discuss the financial situation yes well and never mind the financial situation for the moment since yesterday I've been doing a spot of thing you surprise me hmm you know family tradition responsibilities and all that nonsense do you mean to say you're willing to enter the firm well you're probably right who'd want a horseless carriage anyway mr. Tibbs I congratulate you on your decision you'll never regret it thank you now my dear mr. Toynbee my very dear mr. Toynbee what in your considered opinion is the quickest way to put this firm back on his feet I've never given it much thought but I suggest that I'd say sell more guns exactly now I don't know much about business and all that sort of thing but it seems to me that if you want to sell anything you must take that thing whatever it is to the place where it's mostly in demand that is logical good now Irene in my times they're having a spot of trouble in the West I mean the American West apparently there's some frightful female there called Jesse James she's shooting at everyone are you proposing to take our guns to the color.this well they haven't been calling this for some time once a colony always economy and mark my words one of these days they'll realize their mistake and beg to be taken back you're here but to me the place for a fur Prada is within the four walls of his own establishment but don't you see my dear little Toby I could sell more guns there in one day and the firmer sell since the old boy started it in in in 1605 America of course coming in contact with Tibbs guns one of the finer things of life might will raise the level of the old country the point is that the place to sell Tim's guns is in the Wild West and that's where I'm going


I am the inventor of the Wainwright cure-all little it will cure him I think he's applied some internally that's great stuff you know it even makes hair grow well I have plenty of hair thank you yeah but you could lose it we're going through Injun country have a little drop in my crock excuse me you go to Deadwood no fractured jaw ain't anybody ever told you about that not one well the box-t ranch and the lazy-s started a range war over the water ride then brother ain't you ever seen a range war [Music] no console I have well if you get in between the box-t and the lace yes you're sure did you see the box-t men are out to kill the laziest and every chance they get that is unless the laziest men get to the box steam em first and they're both out to kill a stranger in Kasey's on the other side well I say I don't propose to align myself with either faction I shouldn't have any difficulty anyway so what you say is true that you'll be a splendid place to sell guns no thank you boy you're brave man no sir I'm not brave I intend to mind my own business that's all should an unforeseen situation develop a firm hand that's what's needed always a firm hand you mark my words [Music]


major expansions George savages I'd hope to catching him since I was gay

we are bouncing along cold out here and it's not what happens my hand

ridiculous why doesn't somebody talk to the Biden sort of thing nobody gets near enough to talk everything


[Music] in Karachi

somebody should definitely have a word with these natives well if you can remember what your grandfather think we said I beg of you cannoneer fellows get a gun you better save the last part for yourself


[Music] [Applause]

sit here waiting to be turned into mincemeat by what well I suppose I'm half the man the grandfather Digby was but I'll have a word with our fine feathered friend driver wait yeah the last time we're gonna see that Englishman [Music]

[Music] damn Bochum Oh state Mustafa sworn y'all I don't understand the word you're talking about come along sir get on your feet now listen to me my good man that coach was traveling at a legal rate on a public highway your interference is not only unjustified it's positively dangerous I won't make an issue of the fact that I happen to be a British subject because your attack upon these American citizens is equally unwarranted now take this rather silly looking hatchet and trot along home there's a good chap no hard feelings you see what I see I think I see here [Music] Barn I tender for English man drove off all men rich in single hair hey nobody gonna believe us looking at him no gentlemen I think that little incident caused a nice cup of tea don't you drivers on route [Music]

just past the cemetery filled up a bit since I was here last that's fractured jaw just a head [Music]

did you run at the back other side at Table Rock Brad's a good thing they didn't have guns on us how'd you get away and was we lucky I wouldn't give a plugged nickel for our chances when they just up and chased off one man done it this year passengers single-handed him hey is it a party here about don't try to make a fool out of me Oh driver bring those cases over to the hotel for me will you please so you're the big hero how do you do Tibbs is my name confounded thing you were saying nothing I wasn't saying nothing guns and ammunition what do you think he no he's first but I think I'm faster you may get a chance to find out why would a fast gun I can come to fractured jaw work for the laziest maybe you ain't working for me no easiest is the only other outfit hiring guns want me to take him no there's time if he's just here looking for a job I could use them just try and get back in here I'm running a high-class dump and the stories of people around here realize that the better off there be wait I'm drunk saddle tramp shoot up each other without using bad language - now are you gonna get here do I start in on you again yeah there's a circus in town are you advanced master a Medicine Show good day to you ma'am am i right in assuming that you're the proprietress of this tavern you're a gambler are on the squares game this side of the Mississippi well I shouldn't call myself a gambler although I have paid a little bit the whist occasionally and a friendly foursome say that again with what that did better wait thing I have paid a little bit of wisdom oh those gloves the way you talk you're gonna be the life of the party around here never mind I can I do for you I should like some accommodation in your respectable establishment come on I look out the strays Mavericks are lost younger Nomad is what I keep an eye on you that's jolly quarter here hi there captain and there the good Lord looks after fools and chillin laughy good can't hurt to give him a hand Casey still visit here your mom registering please sure there's your pen there you are Jonathan T is London well Jonathan if I were you I'd stay in your room after dark some of the boys around here they play gonna rough specially when they're liquored up they got a peculiar idea what's funny and they're not just Ben you're a riot most charming of you to offer me advice well if you get in any trouble just call me we hadn't had a chef and back to JA for six months but the bars they generally listen to me how bet they do wha him it ain't smart mister to play me fast sucker sucker oh no oh no I'm quite certain it didn't I don't like guns hide floating her on the prod well that's perfectly splendid we have something in common I don't like smooth talkers neither I've heard bitches from Mississippi gamblers Chicago traveling salesmen and all of them they don't go nowhere with me I do beg your pardon ma'am I'm a little bit confused all right you had your laugh now don't press your luck there's your key it's number six upstairs the rolls are posted on the wall read them mister and read them carefully and remember if you want to stay out of trouble with me

[Music] when strolling down the lane with Billy it's a bright and beautiful day Billy feeling any wonder why I feel this way Artie given the opportunity there isn't a gallant out who wouldn't say when I'm strolling down the lane with Billy that's my greatest fear hey Billy you wanna see romance come over and take a glance down the lane [Music]

[Music] ahh-choo given the opportunity there isn't a gallon tell who wouldn't say when I'm strolling down the lane that's my greatest fear really you wanna see the man come over and take a class



hello Cora I love coming out to the ranch and roughing it for a couple of days with Tino and me no dice one over the table and have a drink with us right now I'm waiting for Johnny you know ain't gonna liked it

hey Carl [Music] and I spent a little time with me no Johnny please why wear a gun you're safe behind a woman's skirts cut it now or I'll break a chair with both your hands again thanks Kate for what every time there's a shooting in here I've got to order new blastwave you want to kill a man over a girl do it on your own time yeah you can fire me any time you want sure I can't until I do I'd rather have you alive than dead

and there's the reason

want me to take him now not just yet means Kate if you're talking to me I just assumed your work well I seem to have got off on the wrong foot and I am sorry I don't like a break yuck however I would like to register a complaint and my room you know now that's just what I've been sitting up nice work well I don't want you to regard this as a personal failure there is such a devil of a racket going on down here and it's practically impossible to speak no doubt you could switch me to a quieter spot there's one quiet spot in fractured jaw and let's move here well I think you'll land up there well thank you so much perhaps that Porter chap of yours could deliver my luggage there in the morning you don't think you're a real funny fella don't you what do you think that I've never been called that before you liable to get called a lot of things you ain't never been called before you Barney you're telling I gather we're having a spot of language difficulty your difficulties with me haven't even started

nice video didn't you mister you better mean that real nice you're gonna have 40 Cal punches jamming their boots down your throat and you can figure out man - Oh Thomas understand visa I wouldn't dream of saying anything uncomplimentary when their uncle to gun Billings cashed in and left this place to Kate coupla Humphreys try to put their brand on her they finished up at the best necktie party fractured jaw ever seen oh well I'm I'm a stranger yeah I'm not altogether familiar with your local customs all the type of parties you have say something against Peyton you'll learn all about him so long as you filling up space of the bar you drinkin mmm don't seem to be do i last sheriff is over it dry mister we got whiskey and we got water we don't serve water there's nothing me much choice does it nothing thank you [Music]

you know about that feller talking about the stagecoach driver told me you're the mayor this to town seems to me you ought to find out when a new gun comes in if he's gonna make trouble that's the sheriff's job that mine situaion got no Sheriff it's your job now all you got to do is go over and ask him if he's lazy yes it was both he don't want to tell me we made a deal box T in town three days a week lazy ass three days and Sunday quiet he's lazy yes he's got no business here today just shut up the coach I got a right to know masters if he's lazy s the next time we find him in town on our day there'll be shootin well I'll try to find out don't you start now

add ginger how do you do tips is my name messes my name I'm mayor this year town I also run the general Emporium that is six days a week and on the seventh I preached the holy gospel glad to meet you sir yeah this year's a friendly town this turn we don't ask no questions Vanessa yeah from what I've encountered you would only be confused by the answers call if the man don't mind telling us what his business is we warmer at all I'm in the gonna dismiss a good man yeah under here you're headin with the laziest as the bold yes sir I intend to call on them tomorrow morning so just remember I didn't have no question have to give no answers I hope you enjoy your stay in fractured jaw and just remember that we don't take sides hear me in particular very particular

laziest gunslinger alright that's what I figured he's going out there tomorrow so don't you start no trouble in town today Yemi no I won't start no trouble anyway I'm shoving out of here right now [Applause]

wait till I'm gone so I'm not mixed up in them take huh

when Susan left her home in Carolina and sailed around the horn and party now Susan brought along a pick and shovel the her intentions were quite obviously fun but she wasn't in Frisco a day when she threw the pick and shovel away

yes the San Francisco Hills could only charge if the San Francisco Hills could only talk they would let us sit on every little thing how she got the dough that she did it afraid the horses and the carriage and a diamond ring that she wears wherever she goes Oh if the San Francisco Hill could only talk if the San Francisco Hills could only talk we would have the answer that we'd like to get how she moved right in on the upper sense and never even gotten it to finger but our Pinterest and Western they're close Susan Susan really it's amusing in Carolina Susan would get out and whoa but from everything we he'd you would button up your ear if the San Francisco hillford only toe in Carolina Susan would get out and walk and whoever bears her name they would hang their heads in shame if the San Francisco Hill little it's all [Music]

Oh waiter can you manage your quality in the chicken sandwich yeah we ain't got


how do you like our little Nightingale or miss Kate oh absolutely first laughs then you'll drink to her oh all right that's extremely kind of her thank you very much good help have escaped drink it no I said drink it I say I really couldn't are you telling me you won't drink with me no not at all but you know in the middle of the night and only I'm just I'm working there drink it I say as I told our friend I'm not altogether familiar with the local customs but this does seem a bit much let's see how big a man you really are oh you mean it's a sort of contest may the best man win and all that sort of thing all right I'm game you know it's a funny thing but after the first one or two it doesn't feel so much like drinking a porcupine I mean Oh does it keep drinking oh no no no no sad I insist it's my time barman another glass for my drinking friend here I insist sir it's my turn to pay you can't abuse the laws of hospitality here we are good luck Jess gone Oh When in Rome you dirty stinkin polecat reach what's the trouble it's kena what I heard the shooting I figured you'd cast your chips again good heavens no hi I was having a sociable drink with my my friend but when this man pull the gun out and shot him Johnny hit it out of town till he's married all right boys break it up best get rid of it what is a dead man down here come on to the body drinks on the house for all [Music] I have a C key to look so peaceable before how can you sell us mayor of this town but with such a thing to happen I told the boys that plan out in the open shooting matches in a crowd like this can be dangerous so me Anderson bystander my dear dogs or we got more long 60k only thing is we got nobody to enforce them I hate to think what them Bucks T boys will do when they find out about this killing well this is preposterous good heavens everything haven't you got a Constabulary Constabulary a guardian of the law a Bobby of all we know Sheriff well whatever the man's called out here seize the law and Minister we be trying to get as the sheriff for the long time when we came in nobody to take the job and you could find us a sheriff we'd be mighty grateful to you I've never had anything like this before in all my life it's the duty of every citizen not to shirk his civic responsibilities would you will you care for a drink delighted good health same to you Oh Oh this stuff isn't too bad but it burns away the nerve ends hey yeah he has a good what were we talking about sheriff yes huh indeed now it's Michael his vitals huh select your man go up to him look at him square in the eyes speak to him with a firm tone and don't take no for an answer never fails My dear sir it never fails and would that be the way to talk to a man like yourself for instance absolutely you mean just for credit to Missy looky here mr. Fisher town needs a sheriff and you're gonna be a jolly Garden darling Oh mr. you talked yourself into a job welcome to fracture jaw Sheriff [Music]





tips these is all that was left of sheriff Dalton sheriff Harper and sheriff Bane's if any of them fits you good luck respectfully yours doc masters yes their duty done they rest in peace [Music]

[Music] Tim sheriff okay don't you go getting all hot and bothered about this year fella being the sheriff I tell you you make a great sheriff he's nothing but a gun man after all and he's quicker and greased lightning on the draw and last night I seen him stand up about their bar and drink a lot of these cowpoke's under the table and walk out of here sober as a judge I'll tell you I do like me a drinking Sheriff that can hold his liquor oh well everybody in town till the heap site safer now that you're in charge of things sure I am not the sheriff oh sure sure you are you see the gun right there we passed an ordinance last spring saying that nobody could wear guns inside fractured jaw not even the mayor I don't anything about the laws your council passed last spring all I know is that this is completely ridiculous how can I be a sheriff I'm not a citizen of this town I'm not even a citizen of this country as mayor of fractured jaw I hereby exercise my civil rights and derogative and I appoint you a citizen of the United States of America and I make you sheriff of fractured jaw there you be now you can have as many deputies as you like that is providing you can find any men to serve with you now listen to me my dear mayor quite apart from all the idiocy as of last night this is absolutely absurd I'm here on business guns like that's all right we don't care about that as long as you're aware in that badge cold feet friend no quite warm thank you big talk of it when it comes to backing it up oh well miss Kent really this is just a little misunderstanding is it I'll get the coffee oh thank you so much I could do with a cup my head doesn't feel too strong this morning hey mr. mayor do you get the impression that she isn't terribly fond of me well you see Kate she only likes folks at Fay's fair and square because that's the way she pays herself and we don't seem to hit it off too well where else you wanted good men but sheriff just like the rest of us I don't worry that you can't mean to you all right just give her time Oh Sam I wish you wouldn't look at me as though her stomach returning over I'll tell you what you come on over to sit in on the poker game and give her a chance to know you better when does she play clay like man she invented the game Frenchie fellas Carson Jenks this chairs tip come on he's a new hand at the game but he wants to set it on the gist the same no all right Sheriff I'll stake you meet me back after the game cut um Reggie all right they're coming out and I met two gentlemen it's and Lewis who told me that rudiments of the game Oh what here yeah all right King get all right pitch is up to you what you say three bucks three bucks yen you in yeah all right come on let's get it over here boys $3.00 a sheriff just put it out there all right come on out boys there's a tree there it's too bad miss you in there between medicine a para deuces I have a past man there all right anyway what do you say boys even what are you saying man raise you five raise your paw sir are you done betting boys all right hold it coming out a 987 ever Rapids being hunchbacked I'm sure a pair of deuces are still happy

six six hundred your six man bet six dollars the seizure okay what do you got six any pairs hands three two three nine gentlemen I think the thought is mine Thank You partner well done indeed double snort chick right he see that fellow over there hey that's bud Wilkins laziest gunslinger what yeah he's wearing a gun well obviously listening uh I'll take it off him maybe he heard we got us a sheriff now oh well I'll advise him that's the least I can do no problem yeah so you're the new sheriff new indeed I heard doing allowing guns in fractured jaw the ruling isn't mine I'm merely the custodian of the law I'm gonna take away a man's cunt let's just say a chap hands it over when he's advised of the regulations he I heard about you so maybe you heard about me I'm Wilkins I come to have your take my gun oh how do you do all right got the drop on me this time but I'm coming back and next time I won't be at all ah mr. bun don't forget your gun there's no law against wearing it if you're leaving town yeah let's just uh sheriff remarkable the effect is healthy Tim how do you do the quickest draw I see in a 50 years shit the way you handled that derringer to make my old grandpappy turn over in his grave I say giving sir does back Riley well doesn't it it sure doesn't say how about you coming into my office I want to talk to you Oh with pleasure I never thought I'd live to see the day when bud Wilkins will give a big gun be sure fast on the draw with that gun mister how do you work it wait is he is on a spring when I straighten my arm it pops up oh well it should pop out into my hand it must be some adjuster hey you know I'd love to have one of them to wade my garden Great Scott I say well of course you could have mine but for wearing it on that limb you'll be obliged to pull the trigger with your toes you let me worry about that how much you take for it I should be honored if you would accept it as a gift oh there we are thank you thank ya you know you're not a bad sort of fella well you need my about accidents it doesn't hurt it of course what you mean to tell me you went up against bud we're closed with an empty gun well you Dunning I go round with a bullet in it the silly thing just popped right in my hand I didn't mean to frighten mr. Wilkins although I imagine it did have that effect kami are you tired of living or just plain stupid oh no really miss Kate yeah take it back please no I wouldn't dream of it I've made you a present one of us must be crazy what happens if some gunslinger draws on you why should they I no quarrel with anyone only with the lazy ass cuz bug will turn to get him all riled up and with a box T out because you got mixed up in quino's killin oh I do think you're exaggerating after all that Jeff Wilkins off with me his gun before he saw the derringer that's that poor fella who got shot last night well we were the best of friends drinking together and all that sort of thing I've seen some strange characters in my time but you take the prize how do you know I've never met anyone like you either I hope you won't mind if I said but I find you simply enchanting let's say I find you different anyway well that's a beginning isn't it hey what are you doing in fractured jaw I represent the firm of Tibbs & Company gunsmiths and James's London I've yet to sell firearms they should know how to handle a gun that could keep your laugh for a little while hmm well I don't see why skill with a gun should be so frightfully important but if it is to you I suppose I could learn tips and just decide itself now I'm gonna teach you to shoot and won't do any good at least I won't be blaming myself at your funeral now listen to me and try to understand I wouldn't give two cents for your chances of limiting one day older than y'all right now but whatever soft spot my heart affray well for tenifer so I'll do what I can to help you I never thought I'd appreciate being told how to handle a gun but it's wonderful of you to offer I'm not asking for your thanks personally I think I'm weak in the head too even Bob but now come on shall I bring one of my own guns no no and if it was we wouldn't use it nobody's supposed to know you can't shoot her you won't live long enough to take a lesson can you ride I don't know I never really tried but I can handle a pair of horses them it's any help I asked that Porter chap of yours to load my gun cases onto a carriage so that I could call on the tray this morning well [Music] morning the state morning general the mornings a good morning to you good morning allow me milady yeah there we are morning ma'am morning charlie the bodies are good morning sheriff how do you do sir how do you do good morning sheriff funny man

are you sure they're a friendly not nothing they're happy they think they got a show you know at first I didn't take the sheriff business too seriously but now I sure the morning can I Drive a nice feeling it makes it makes one feel good even been important oh you're probably drawn the biggest crowds we ever had in there [Music]

whoa oh yeah this looks pretty good [Music] we're here to teach you share yes yes of course [Music] see that see ex-con watch the gun oh right you are I say you are bombs now you try right oh dear that was very good wasn't it would have been bad of you hon rabbits now try to get hold your wrist steady look what you shoot [Music] maybe I should have said shoot where you looking not likely to win the first prize mi give yourself a little time hey I help you come on now squeeze well Happy's a bit better if only you could come along and hold my wrist every time I have to shoot me now you tried all by yourself right [Music] [Applause] Kate you must think I'm a blithering idiot forget it not exactly what you call a howling success I come all this way to sell guns and I don't even know how to father so you don't know guns how do you think I'd be poor antifa Lord watts is in a London drawing-room and chanting you know I never been east a dark City never been to a real theatre you're laughing I ain't never seen a man in evening clothes they're not very different in evening clothes you know Jonathan much as I love my whole night here sometimes I feel like I just like to throw them handed what for a little in your kind of light with your kind of people and a few of the things the outside world I don't know nothing about you might not like all that you find Kate I'd take a chance on that would you I'm sure what I'd be out of here quick quicker and you could draw that dare enjoy yours but why am I telling you all this to make me feel a little less the fool because anything you say to me I want to hear this is silly come on [Music] come on now teach you to shoot I'll never be any good at it and I'll never port evil of boxes not watch this we'll never know what is missing the guns reloaded six bullets that's why they call them six shooters that's clever I got a repeating rifle to have you oh the latest model I'll show it to you when we get back - why don't you kiss me I'd like to see that okay oh I beg your pardon oh that's all right [Music]

I hate looking for you doc I'm looking for the new sheriff want him to know LM in town and carrying a gun yeah you know your love you've got a mighty lucky how come our new sheriff's out of town you'd be a dead man by now he wasn't for me more likely him him say our new sheriff could give Wild Bill Hickok first draw Beauty to the kill you hear and tell about them fellas can shoot the middle out of the ace of spades well I'll new sheriff can shoot the middle out of the middle I don't believe you know they another one you lazy s cows folks in here earlier in the day but Wilkins you ask him but Wilkins you mean he took quite Wilkins yes like he was a little boy don't take my word for it just hang around he'll be back soon and ditches have a big rep by going up agin him well I ain't got time now but I'll be back yes sir I'll be back I'll uh I'll tell the sheriff you you're looking for him

Jonathan yes nothing I just like to say your name delicate kind of man support a wife on a shared salary shares don't have wives they have widows well if that's a procedure are you going to make a very charming Widow Jonathan when you're planted in booth here well any fair lady from London come and place flowers on Your Grave ah we won't talk about the past my future's out here with you well if that's an English proposal I'll accept [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

as I sang to the hills in the valley of love I love Oh from the hills to the valley of love I love love Oh

when I cry we're so in love No

so I stray every day to the valley I love

when I cry we're so in love and

so I straight every day to the very


better take that thing off before somebody uses it for target practice tonight I'll ask the man to find a replacement tonight could be too late well can't just walk away Eve no I'm not much good as a sheriff don't what right now that wouldn't be a very sporty thing to do put it nobody in fractured jaw ever sort of a sport and thing and you're being a bull headed jacket thanks for the vote of confidence why you no-good contrary unreasonable [Music] but they don't eat mark and English in your schools and that shows a great weakness in the English educational system you're kind of sweet come on no spot of tea but I could be talking the phoniest by the coffee I love it I have a job to do such as selling guns it says it was just because of the family's addition and all that rot but now I'll need the money to start a family tradition on my own hello I'm gonna love that tradition I've never sell anything before I suppose the first thing you do is to call on the local merchants you shoot that thing you're just hanging on the wall what do you mean oh you're not gonna try and sell that empty crown here antique my decade is absolutely brand-new perfect gentleman sporting gun in fact your job guns ain't bespoke unless you make a hobby or killing people Tim's gun should make a welcome change and gentleman farmers hereabouts they might like to have a go shooting a bird or two only farmers around these parts of the squatters south of town all right then that's what as it is your face okay I came out here to sell guns and I'm determined to find someone noble I couldn't fall in love with a local idiot I had to pick an international one I'd go ahead and get your stuff shut up if you want to goodbye

[Music] hey don't anywhere sheriff it is heading for the water problem we ain't never met I'm Hank Barnes this is my place why'd you go I'd say you were about 5 foot 11 inches tall 170 pounds I'm all right well just about you know my wife and I had an argument when you rolled out of town this morning she said you were only 510 160 oh I always like to find out these things in advance and I can give you a real good job thanks Sheriff


tomorrow madam my name is tips is the gentleman of the house here Luc's Ian but he's eaten oh yes of course well I'll wait ladies more come in and say it oh thank you I won't be a moment [Music] charming little cottage you have here after you ma'am oh how do you do Luke don't hear good while he's eaten oh oh well there that's Betty all right

Loup don't talk much if I was eatin oh I see yeah thank you

hello baby don't talk much even when it ain't eatin huh charming little baby girl ain't a girl it's a book about

but how long does he generally heat Luke don't mind listening why was it eaten oh I see Oh in that case sir my name is Tibbs I represent Tibbs & Company gunsmiths anomalies Austin James E Street London my card NASA we have supplied the best gentleman's arms since 1605 Chancellor I am confident that I can supply you with a fowling piece that you would be proud to wear and you can tell at a glance that this is as finer 16 bore shotgun as anyone could wish for Luke's Britain why are you worried young Craigie you might blow my head off call to get him out of here man you put him in there with a puppy I'll keep on the way turn and look at that he cost me two bitch the last one I got now you bite any of them pups now lick the hat off you yeah I speak honey butter buy that junk do you hey Pam it off on some cool red Skinner don't know no better chunk I pick your father's nope you were selling a can of not sure buy one maybe keep them call puncher from shooting up my place Tibbs & Company do not manufacture a cannon hey hey for you go oh wait I want to show you something hello my landlady smack in the middle between the lazy ass in a box T yeah pull over there yes he's a lazy ass no Larry yeah Marty now he'll spot the other fella Jesse pass arrived watch

I'll tell you that shootin those two minute trying to kill each other though they both trying to kill each other the other phone ain't got a chance he's looking to clear out your doubt if you'll make it are you gonna stand there let that man get shot well in the first place I ain't standing it kind of cut up a stray bullet comes this way in a rush these dudes head it bumps into hay in the second place appears to me if anybody's gonna tangle that buck steamed and rightly ought to be the sheriff and I ain't sure how about you well if you put it like that I suppose come on if I was you I'd come in from back of that ride a man would itchy trigger finger sometimes don't wait to meet up with somebody who gets in his rifle sides times it's my duty as sheriff to try and stop this violence although I can assure you our little regard for either of these two chaps over this part of the world if it comes to that at least in England they aim a decent gun at a verdict on shoot back [Music]

[Music] you reckon we'll be seeing them again [Music] drop that gun I'm the sheriff the sheriff I heared about you I gather you're a member of the Box the organization so now you listen to me as long as I continue to be Sheriff I'm going to use my authority to maintain law and order and heaven help any member of your organization who indulges in rowdy or unlawful behavior and you can go back and tell that your head man you mean to say you're telling the box-t how to act exactly I may have had this office thrust upon me but I intend to carry out its duties to the utmost of my ability I get where we stand flavor on the boys be glad to know for sure next time we meet Sheriff it's gonna be head-on see what you've done sheriff thanks don't mention it with you on our side the box-t will be mopped up in no time My dear chap I'm not on your side oh so it's like that I'm rapidly reaching the limits of my patience a new laser yes chaps are better realise that if you want to avoid trouble okay that's the way you want you're talking pretty big now let's see how you act the next time

[Music] many thanks drop in anytime ad sheriff delighted I'm sure what thank you sir who'd ever [Music]

that's your heat smarter than he looks yeah well you've a baby see now I reckon I'll go [Music]

[Music] [Applause]




all right get it off your chest tell me he's going out of town he ain't coming back tell me I'm making a fool of myself he's a stubborn ornery the wall-eyed mule and I'll let him go out the biggest country all by himself and I'll probably never see him again don't you worry about that he'll be back all right you know what the good Lord he looks after fools and Englishmen




and then I think if magic mystery Birds how Kappa ho

you're a lucky man you call this lucky you speak English I was captured as a child and sent to a white man's school really where's that hat lifter really I seldom lose my temper but that woman's manners are atrocious hen no sir haven't we met before you're giving this life now we'll give you all yours and I pretty girl oh good well goodbye sir goodbye gentlemen clapping arson you stood nothing our samyama mañana what's he say he said you're a brave man he admires bravery even in the white man how charming quick we get changed in your Tintin posture what's he saying that my father wishes to honor the brave white man you're gonna be adopted by the tribe and made his son oh really adopted do I look like an Indian orphan you'll be a son of a chief I'll be the son of her I'll have you know that as far back as you care to check tips have been Englishmen not an Indian in the lot oh I'm sorry gentlemen you'll have to find yourself another boy don't see it do I play dumb they're gonna hear I know hmm I like these this is quite ridiculous I won't consider for one moment I'm sorry what are they alive Indian are dead Englishmen well I'm thinking [Music] getting a tenth of knock or something Eden what's he saying he said it's your turn the source now what oh good heavens but I've never been on a horse in my life I refuse warrior publish them a stinger so no damn you what'd he say Shh he'll burn you at stake and sent to happy hunting grounds I'll take the horse

[Music] Estelle's can tell the truth and personality [Music]


[Music] [Applause]

I never knew I had it in me grandfather think we couldn't have better itself how I stood did quest put in your sin absolutely yeah you're starting you're seeing us what'd he say you're a blood brother your name is fleet iron hat Oh Spanish hey my wizard partner my favorite what vintage it is the blood from the heart of the wild buffalo it gives your life and makes you strong you were to come near a taste of much you must bring it all or you die I drink it all it's extremely unlikely that I'll live you smoke my puppy what's this the hell the wild buffalo to make me weak now we go let the great reward reward [Music]


whap Anita at Sarah bush let's go ask them [Music] you'll pick one what's this another contest I want to be your wife make fine squaw never work a day in your life my dear oh boy I can't possibly pick one of these young ladies as a wife it's hard to choose retrieve such fine maidens wanna take them all three wives come I know a song gun Sam see you got choked scream all you want oh yeah hey what's he see my father says these are too skinny you'll find something better hey we're here he's for school beta dig in [Music] my father says this will keep you warm in the winter yeah what about it summer a brave can have many wives well I'm not that brave and no gentlemen it's very charming of you I do appreciate it but if you don't mind I like a little more time to get used to the fact that I'm a new member of the family in the meantime when you change your mind and come home your wife's would be waiting thank you so much as much charming our who's that well I must get on my way now if you don't mind goodbye madam goodbye my dear good luck good luck I've ever here on business you know I sell guns guns yeah well soon our viewers know Percilla a very fine guns any of these Americans won't appreciate the fact shefket back yet chick no I ain't seen it we ain't seen on the other you though we sure would like to catch up with him who are you dirty yellow-livered snakes you hunt them down in pairs now well let me tell you something they took no guns at my place if you don't want to play by our house wheelers you get the both of you hit the trail oh here some down I'll do some shooting myself too bad they didn't hang you and they hung your brothers you you fixin to bury somebody hang new chef he he ain't gone got himself killed already heavy not yet I've seen him heading out towards Indian country oh you've been gone long enough I'll better go out and pick him up blue looking for someone Kate yeah so late I

caught up with that chair I don't know why I didn't get me down he made it clear he's tied up with the lazy yes I figured that last night but I didn't know they'd make him sheriff why they got the law on their side now suppose he brings in US Marshal it calls for cavalry you want to have time round up the boys we're riding into fractured jaw this afternoon why the laziest will be in town first we get the sheriff and then we settle with the lazy ass once and for all


more damn lives and I can't


dear boy [Music]

[Music] peace offering oh well it's just lovely and sorry you wait when I was a little girl I was taught to take my medicine without putting it off you know get it over with quick kind of a strong character well here goes I'm nasty stubborn and unreasonable I got the rock the step at this side of the Rockies and well I behave just like an old witch well but don't just sit there are apologize oh yes your apology is that all you've got to say even you believed all those things I said about myself mm-hmm with reservations you swell head nah man it's duck shit if you had half the brains of a local coyote then you know I was right and everything I've said to you this afternoon well what are you thinking I do hope our children take after me know what I hope they do too but not the girl even the girl ah now you're being stubborn I'm just being in love hey I hadn't even told you about the good news oh hi react very well - good news I've been showing this all over town not a thing imaging it costs just a gun everybody thinks he can be just as fast as you are and they all want one you can sell enough of these to make tips and cut me the biggest gun dealers in all the West Kate you're one welcome in Oh howdy Sheriff there's a mighty fine little perch you get out there mighty fine why thank you Sam yeah you know I run the general merchandise store here and I got some good connections with fur buyers I thought we might make a deal that is a Hoover - L see Kate it's not very difficult to become a virgin's you've paid guns for further than you saw the first simple yeah mister would you mind telling me where you traded them furs why certainly sir I came across some chaps who are very eager for guns what are you couldn't even do enough for me must appreciate if they were Indian I drive a hard bargain even though I said myself Oh Jonathan you couldn't miss that's just about the lowest thing a white man ever done you know you ain't no better than us come alright thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head why shouldn't I cake if the Indians have guns they'll wipe us all out nonsense okay are you it is any of us left alive nice your town after the minions get through we'll hang you to the nearest Cottonwood trot along home and look after your various enterprises there's a good chap caked you don't understand these Indians have made me a blood brother I have their solemn promise not to use drums against white men you can't believe them no need to feel disturbed I'm on very familiar terms with these men why could heavenly we call each other by our first names good morning running deer chili oh please our hat I'm Cleve Arnett renegade oh shut up don't you understand you've done the one thing that's unforgivable any men in the territorial I'll shoot you down on side that's a bunch of them get your fist and string you up oh well I really seem to let the cat among the pigeons rocks tea all arriving for town it's the laziest day great balls of fire this yet time will be more full of holes in the woodpecker's nest what on earth thank you right it'll stop shootin the minute they see each other they only good thing about it is you might be in the middle as for me i'm hightailing it for the hills all right really the man we are give me a few minutes at those some things in a bag you get packed I'll try I care about this running away you stay and you'll be carried away cowboy she'll be willing to listen to reason the same as anyone else look Jonathan It's Me Kate not mad no temper but the first time in my life I'm scared to death really scared for you you know I always wanted to live in Chicago or New York or even London but now I don't care where we go just so long as it's away from here fast if you want to settle in America or England or even at the North Pole that's for me too

come on shut up shake up that fighting to us it won't be a drop of liquor left and flex your jaw and it's a cinch ain't gonna be none where I'm hidden just put this here on my bill I may leave to pay it and I may not yeah well mr. Sheriff you show up put your foot in it this time this your town job get wiped off the map and I've got to go out and protect the innocent citizens and that's my friend are gonna take the heap of courage the bhakti and Laelius out physical I'm gonna tell the same time I see you were figuring to run out on us - oh hey I think your partner's help this town looked up who loves you and respected you which the food is just like your food miss Kate a hiding behind her head II promise you're pretty fond of Kay don't you mister this hello you wanna let me tell her I shan't be long I wonder where with us Rogers

hey no he's gonna hit you bet her see only getting this time you got you again cherry push or I'll be right there

okay ain't lose your hurry anyway that fella done been and gone where he said to tell you he'd be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail but I got my doubts about lady go even off to try and make peace between them crazy ranchers that fella is either the Dern this fool of the bravest man in the world I can't make up my mind which




[Music] hey why'd the sheriff stop you from being shot I don't know pretty handy with a gun could have filled me full of hole looks like you had a message he used a lot of words but you got it across he says the lazy ass is heading for trouble he ain't the first lawman tried to throw his weight around he ain't the first lawman ever got killed neither nor the last boys ride into town today he usually do on Saturday we'll have him riding a bunch no stragglers with a sheriff to pick off one of the time sure boss hit town I'll get him when he starts his move there'll be enough of us to see you don't finish it fractured jaw ain't gonna have a sheriff for long

[Music] [Applause] there he is like a sitting duck come on [Music] whoa hey can you help me is the lazy ass or party ranchera bad yesterday [Music] dear boy I'm your brother fleet iron hat me brother Tibbs brother brother why not a seaman [Music] I'll get him right between the eyes [Music]




you louse a bunch of coyotes you're not Kate and fast I'm warning you we're gonna kill ourselves of sherry if there's any killing to be done now I'll be taking a hand in it what I'd like to do to you


I suppose there's no use me telling you again to go away fifty hundred men I could have picked more even or not how to pick you I'm a bigger fool than you are least I should have known better what do you think they'll do keep us pinned down here and then probably send a couple of men up that slope where they can fake his stall how they wouldn't risk it in you wanna bet oh now really that's too much I'm going down there to have a weapon you must be Loco well do you think for one moment I want to sit here and risk your being hit you make one move with our Bendis gun battle over your thick skull and if you don't believe me you just tried hey Kate look please yes greetings el murder each other I've got to stop this hey you listen to me is everybody in America hostile whoever wins down there we lose we'll settle this now Wilkins you been spoiling for this now you're gonna get it Joe and that hired sheriff of yours what do you take me for a tenderfoot don't you think I know he's your Sheriff he ain't without Claiborne we wrought out to get him what well that's a worrier for I'm warning you there'll be trouble if this random shooting does not stop we're gonna kill ourselves a cheap tin star Cherie I suppose it's too late to resign a bit at least this way fact your jaw has to put the bill for your funeral that is a point

Great Scott is the Undertaker who's he looking for you if you want to call off our fight until we finished him I'm agreeable it's a deal anin anyone who comes up to the Shelf has made a wreckin with first your magnificent I'm not a man I'd listen more horses from up above are we expecting anyone else

he told Kate we don't want you hurt you got one minute to think it over it'd be much smarter to come on down at least that two-timing polecat to us and the next time it'll be higher you miserable bunch of hams [Music] [Applause]

and yet and you gave them guns I'm afraid I did well the massacre all of us I should never a thought sir but so far I've been wrong about everything else somebody said a short life but a merry one Jonathan look we gotta make a run for it we ain't got much of a chance but I sure a lot better and stay in here no wait I mean to have a go at my so-called brothers you keep me covered [Music]

there are all of you because fleet iron hat tip speaking and I won't have this boiler exactly early on and it once what's the meaning of this behavior you promise me that those guns would not be used for war I wear white better watch endanger we came to help oh I'm sorry once again I seem to said the wrong thing your enemies are our enemies we'll kill them well that suggestion is not without a certain appeal at this moment but I'm afraid not why they try to cool I'm not entirely sure there may be a way out

[Music] drop yoga every man of you and put up your hand

right [Music] come on [Music] hey ball Wilkins I intend to examine your American laws to find out what the penalty is for assault with intent to do bodily harm on the appointed sheriff of fractured jaw dad have my relatives escort these men back into town all right good movie now be dog gone

[Music] [Applause] [Music] I'll talk to you now you know as well as I do that I discussed nothing at tea time I ain't talking about discussing I'm just talkin about talkin it now what oh my dear old boy you're a bundle of nerves sit down and relax trip to the hills and all that hard corn liquor you've been drinking yeah have a nice cup of tea it'll do you good that stuff is only we're all women and sick people well I disagree I belong to a nation of 30 million peoples and to them tea drinking is the most pleasurable habit yeah well maybe you're right I'll try anything once looks like good gauntleted oh it tastes like swamp water man is a quite a pony you rang sure yes the more hot water running their teas with the greatest of pleasure sir thank you somebody stop that he's been good I'm talking like you lookee here what I came here to say was this but I made you Sheriff I know I know I told you you gonna find as many deputies as you don't mind do but nobody in this town including myself thought for one single minute did you go higher on a bunch of them than their agents now you listen to me my dear ma'am the past 10 days has been no shootings no robberies no violence in fact no crime whatsoever so it seems to me that your complaints are somewhat unwarranted oh well maybe you're right but I still say you're gonna wake up some morning with your scalp gone good jumping you husband I gotta get out of here I gotta go home I'm gonna shave and then just push that let well anyway I've had my say but you haven't had your tea oh they want to talk to your sir ah good well what do you think my London tailor would have to say about this and it fits you it's all you well sure thank you right

hey Sheriff ah yes we want to make a deal you've chosen an inconvenient time me and Wilkins been talking things over we ain't doing ourselves no good in there well that's a remarkable display of logic and just about giving up hope sheriff yes and we figure we ain't get no place you can each other up oh if it's all right with you we won out we agreed to share the waterhole and we let the Indians use it to do you mean this yep come on your word on that uh-huh and y'all lookin going third coming in but um no sure well gentlemen you'll have to excuse me I have an important engagement

right running yeah turn all this chatter good luck to you sir thank you


[Music] [Applause] nice save dear boy clean it laughs OH [Music] slight problem won't be a moment how did he I want you to pump it yeah I mean like he never pumpkin before I want his golden notes to go soaring over the whole territory cause it has a joy a joyous occasion she changed her mind as you know it's a wedding oh boy it's customary for the bride to walk down the aisle on the arm of her father why are you gonna get her father just for the ceremony I've lent her mind

Danny beloved we are gathered here together to join in holy wedlock this fair few follow of the Prairie and this I knew that the ring or a Cisco nah I I pronounce you married life


engines no relatives






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A British gunsmith's hilarious adventurous in the American West
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