DSPGaming - This is how you DON'T play Highlights

by: GLKHD

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Transcript:

[3.29]
[Music]


[3.29]
[Music] writer killed himself why do they do this why do they put in these fucking missions that are super long no checkpoints and the computer fucks it up oh my fucking god he killed himself yes that's exactly what he would do he was throw a box so close to himself that he would blow himself up give me a fucking break yeah am i special what is it this game of sex what the hell stupid casinos horny is funny seriously could you was just a horny bastard all the sex references in it fucker toy get over weights come on you have blue balls if you don't fucker you gotta be able to walk straight well deserve this game of sex what the hell yes yes Oh what is it this game of sex what the hell yeah yes my neck come on right there on my ear pull my bite my ear come on for fall my fucking eyelids come on shove that up my ass hurry do it what is it this game and sex what the hell fucking me yes baby I love it oh yes yes I love it I'll do it to my balls come on do it - my balls now give it to me come on Big Boy come on stick it right up my dick hole I love it I fucking love it yes more torture excellent what we're fuckin this way oh no I'm going this way oh hold on I'm going this way [Applause]


[133.58]
Wow Oh [Applause] fucking shit by not digging around skip their business


[156.89]
fuck you can't not from there oh my god that was brutal fucking headfirst into a box Oh No why don't I quick save I'm an idiot I don't quit say it after every jump the way I want to keep redoing it with that what's up come on first-person platforming before portal was the origination of it well I didn't make it the momentum took him off the box I won't say the box is covered in ice


[198.42]
oh shit you could stop him to jump i pressed back to see if it would work and it did I completely stopped in midair what a weird physics engine this game has


[211.41]
fuck it was close and I didn't make the smallest little jump right there haha I was close whoa maybe all right let's start with the obvious yes yes you can't stop me what you pulled me out of the car I couldn't kill them this is stupid bullshit it's complete and stupid bullshit Hector shortener fool what the fuck you're just rude needs a spellcheck before they made this game


[276.199]
[Applause] go take the stupid secret across this to check your church we know it's something really no way to not get shot there's just why am i spinning what the fuck so when you die you do triple floating backflips what the hell is that uh that was weird as hell


[323.11]
my teammate got my way did you see that my had the shot and the idiot walked in front of it so I couldn't fire you know I had the shot on that guy


[348.699]
[Applause] we're chokes out an enemy okay oh no oh no stop chasing me stop it little bit flip this ass didn't die alright knockdown Oh what the hell he woke up again what the fuck how many times like that knocking look he's still not day he keeps getting up how do you permanently knock someone down what the fuck why can't I jump up here it's obvious this what I'm supposed to do why can't I do it this is so fucking weird I don't understand like what game mechanics that I am I not doing properly here then I can't get up here right now oh here we go okay I couldn't see that before


[444.04]
dead instantly day [Laughter] well eliminated the asshole jumped out and killed himself alrighty then no problems here Jesus I'm like 40 bullets to the face brutal


[471.68]
all right zip line mode room I said this in mind uh Wow huh okay Oh kickline do that there's mine I got there hmm it's working no little bit no uh okay I'm stuck what's up okay now stop you uh like in supplying do something super so I can go oh ah there you go nice a day all right good doctor I want to do myself okay uh uh actually cuz you know it was incredibly necessary for me have to do you have to do that again it just makes perfect sense how the fuck am I gonna do this [Applause] [Music] [Applause]


[561.04]
it's just people want to see me do gentleman on fucking barrel for two hours trying to get on a fucking plate


[574.33]
[Music]


[594.08]
[Music] fuck there goes what the fuck this is really how half-life was there just platforming out fucking barrels the whole time uh-oh retard alert retard alert class the game's over complete not think about before the next leg they will have to improve their bed to go from the two goals they score are completely random bouncing off the fucking head goals but they'll do just figure out how to throw from the fucking sideline is he getting the chose you to do it fuck off you stupid cocksuckers


[646.81]
fuck wait he came out of the other ones asshole did you see that he literally came out of the other ones Ashley shad him out on the steps and the guy shot me what what it said shoot I couldn't read it shoot the padlock something something and then I died instantly with no explanation whatsoever oh there it is cooling oh shit


[695.8]
why won't you get the fuck when you went hold on a second when the fuck did I you put the cooling there maybe nonsense I didn't group the coolant whatever dude stick to the shadows now we're off to retreat to a parallel world for the next 40 years oh dang what the fuck was my blood my brains of my blood are spreading on the ground are you serious you got some idiot named ESP who's a total piece of shit by the way I like to I like to get that on YouTube but


[740.0]
what why does the bike to spit no I can't get the bike to dry this is fucking stupid I couldn't do anything the bike wouldn't drive what why did the bike just spit me this is not the game for me this is a game that you need to play the shit out of it number one to play the shit out of it to learn what are the best out of fire with the guns you know it still differs from other FPS game can't even look down the floor you gotta learn your Maps and I just don't understand a lot these guys obviously been playing it since Tuesday when it came out they fuckin slaughtered okay that was a pain in my ass not only am i a really hard mission I can't even fucking make it there in one piece


[825.26]
what what the line I want that oh my god one let's do a siege of a truck oh my god why would I do that oh my god I totally didn't want that I wanted a fireball Wow


[850.27]
stupid fucking sure you can coach completely the wrong direction he's on the other side he doesn't sure you can backwards yes the job rear left stick was our one what does that mean it doesn't even work left stick plus r1 what that's what I'm doing I'm moving the left stick and pressing r1 [Music] it's like impossible to get the word it really is look there's jump attack I can't whatever what was your fucking idiot oh


[898.459]
shit [Laughter] okay let's try that again


[910.1]
what the fuck y'all killed it oh my god the headcrabs are mad buggy man uh-oh retard alert wait heart alert class we fucking shot the fuck out of he's still alive putting the bowl I didn't do that again I try to steal and I accidentally past it's the same fucking button is so stupid why is it the same button [Applause] oh this is my last my last part of Dark Souls for today I'm just gonna try to beat this demon again and I can't do it in the next 10 minutes then fuck it it's gonna have to wait till the next time I play this game you're coming to chick with a spear keeping the spirit is ran by me


[972.709]
[Music]


[978.74]
[Applause] [Music] one hour this is really dumb this sucks


[1001.15]
[Music]


[1036.49]
look it killed oh shit oh no these are charges oh fuck what do I do how am I gonna get past these


[1067.36]
[Music]


[1073.73]
[Applause]


[1081.1]
[Music] or what happened oh okay sure instant death and I never even saw what's coming


[1097.51]
well that was fair they're completely surrounded as you come up on the lift I just swear I don't have a suppressor for this girl the dog woke up SP should be suppressor so I swear to God I have the item I need I just don't know how to use it like what I just found her said SP what is SP why doesn't the game ever explain this it all shows this food doesn't show what this SP is there's no way to equip it


[1150.64]
[Music] [Applause]



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The scrubbery meter is off the charts. Playthroughs featured: -MGS -MGS 2 -MGS 3 -Half-Life (Black Mesa) -FIFA 12 -Grand Theft Auto 3 -Grand Theft Auto: Vice City -Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas -Killzone: Shadowfall -Counter-Strike: Global Offensive -Street Fighter -Dark Souls Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, parody, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use. No copyright infrigment intended. DSP this is how you don't play highlights. DarksydePhil laid off from Machinima (March 2017). snorts
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