Ryan Reynolds: Big Questions With Even Bigger Stars

by: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

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[0.934]
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY, RIGHT THERE. RIGHT, RIGHT THERE. JON, YOU KNOW WHAT? OH, MAN. I LOVE-- I LOVE-- I LOVE A TUESDAY NIGHT CROWD. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE IT. NOW. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S WHAT THAT IS? THAT'S A TUESDAY CROWD. NOW, MY FRIEND, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M EXCITED ABOUT? >> Jon: WHAT'S THAT. >> Stephen: I'M EXCITED ON TONIGHT'S SHOW, THE BAND GREEN DAY. AMAZING. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NEW ALBUM. TREMENDOUS. THOSE GUYS HAVE STILL GOT IT. THEY KICK IT, INCREDIBLE. >> Jon: YEAH, THEY'RE BAD. YOU KNOW, I SIT AT THIS DESK EVERY NIGHT, AND A LOT OF WORDS COME OUT OF MY MOUTH, BUT SOME OF THEM STAY IN MY BRAIN, UP IN THE OLD BONE BOWNGS HERE. SO SOMETIMES I NEED TO LET OUT THESE DEEPER BRAIN WORDS-- IDEALLY, I LET THEM OUT WITH A FELLOW CELEBRITY-- IN A SEGMENT I CALL, "BIG QUESTIONS WITH EVEN BIGGER STARS!" ( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS ) >> Stephen: MAN, WHAT A GORGEOUS NIGHT. >> SURE IS, STEPHEN. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HEY, RYAN RODNEY YOU LIKE TO COME UP HERE TO THINK DEEP STUFF, TOO? >> YEAH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL TO JUST LOOK UP AT THE STARS. >> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY. ORION! >> AH, YES. ( LAUGHTER ) "THE HUNTER." >> Stephen: NO, I WAS SAYING "OH, RYAN, LOOK AT THOSE TWO OWLS DOING IT." ( LAUGHTER ) >> WHOA. THAT ONE IS HUNG LIKE AN ADULT HUMAN. ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: FOOD FOR THOUGHT. >> HEY STEPHEN? >> Stephen: YEAH? >> WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD ONE DAY LEFT TO LIVE? >> Stephen: I'D GO SEE "AVATAR" AGAIN. >> WHY? >> Stephen: BECAUSE THOSE TWO HOURS FELT LIKE TWO YEARS. ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) HEY, RYE? >> YES, DAVID. >> Stephen: WHEN YOU BLOW OUT THE CANDLES ON A CAKE, WHAT DO YOU WISH? >> THAT THE KID WHOSE BIRTHDAY I CRASHED DOESN'T GET MAD AT ME. CRAZY ABOUT CAKE, STEPHEN. CRAZY ABOUT CAKE. >> Stephen: HEY, RYAN, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE WRITTEN ON YOUR TOMBSTONE? >> "THIS SPACE AVAILABLE BECAUSE RYAN REYNOLDS IS STILL ALIVE." ( LAUGHTER ) HEY, STEPHEN? >> Stephen: YEAH, RYAN? >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK IT'S REALLY TRUE THAT LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE? >> Stephen: I DO NOW. BUT BACK IN THE '90s, I WAS PRETTY SURE IT WAS ROBITUSSIN WITH CODEINE. ( LAUGHTER ) >> HEY, STEVE-ADORE. >> Stephen: YEAH, RYE-GUY? >> WHAT DO YOU THINK CATS DREAM ABOUT? >> Stephen: DEFENSELESS HUMANS THAT TASTE LIKE TUNA. ( LAUGHTER ) HEY, RYAN, IN THE FUTURE, HOW DO YOU THINK WE'LL DEAL WITH OVER-POPULATION? >> THAT'S EASY, COLBERT-HUG. WE'LL BE FIGHTING TO THE DEATH IN THE THUNDERDOME >> Stephen: YOU'D LET ME WIN, RIGHT? >> NO, I WOULD MAKE A NECKLACE OF YOUR SPINE. HEY, STEPHEN, IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? >> Stephen: OH, I'D LIKE TO HAVE A HIGH-TECH RING THAT'S GREEN AND HAS A LANTERN ON IT, AND I CAN USE MY IMAGINATION TO MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF GREEN LIGHT. ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> WOW, THAT'S A REALLY DUMB SUPERPOWER. ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YEAH. WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU WANT? >> I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO PEE AT A PUBLIC URINAL WHEN SOMEONE IS STANDING DIRECTLY BEHIND ME. >> Stephen: OH, COURAGE BLADDER. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: HEY TRIPLE-R? >> YEAH, "S" TO THE "C"? >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A DUMB QUESTION? >> NO! THAT'S A STUPID THING TO ASK. ( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WHERE DO YOU THINK WE GO WHEN WE DIE? >> OH, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M GOING TO CANADIAN HEAVEN. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THERE'S A CANADIAN HEAVEN? >> OH, YEAH. >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT AND AMERICAN HEAVEN? >> WELL, CANADIAN HEAVEN IS REAL AND AMERICAN HEAVEN IS INSIDE THE BODY OF TOBY KEITH. >> THE BIG DOG? >> YEAH. HEY, STEPHEN-RENO. >> Stephen: YES, RYAN? >> IF YOU HAD A TIME MACHINE, WOULD YOU GO BACK AND KILL BABY HITLER? >> Stephen: NO, BUT I'D SWITCH HIM WITH BABY GANDHI JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. >> HEY, STEVE, WHAT'S THE MEANING OF LIFE? >> Stephen: WELL, I SUPPOSE IT'S THAT WE'RE ALL HERE TO DO GOOD WORK AND TREAT ONE ANOTHER-- >> NO, NO, NO I MEANT MY NEW MOVIE "LIFE." DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT? >> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW? >> NAH, I NEVER READ ANY OF MY SCRIPTS UNLESS THERE ARE A LOT OF PICTURES. I LOVE PICTURES. >> Stephen: WELL, TRAILER LOOKS COOL. I BET YOU DIE. >> THAT'S WHY I DON'T READ THE SCRIPTS. ( LAUGHTER ) HEY, STEPHEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE FUTURE HOLDS? >> Stephen: PROBABLY A COMMERCIAL BREAK. RYAN REYNOLDS, EVERYBODY.



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