World of Tanks - Failure, of Epic Proportions

by: The Mighty Jingles

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Transcript:

[11.949]
howdy folks welcome back to my world of tanks replays with the mighty jingles took a little break yesterday so I could go through more of the replay submissions and I've gotten it down to just over 300 emails left to look at which isn't too bad considering I started off on 476 however something slightly different tonight we have a celebration of failure and it's in honor of the kind of games I have been having over the course of the last 6 days pretty much since the start of the golden joystick special event on the EU so I am currently going through the worst losing streak in living memory his words just fail me I can't even begin to describe how bad it has been just to give you some sort of idea in 6 days I have won five games yep it's been that bad and they have been pretty crappy wins too you know the condom kind of game we walk away with 500 XP doubled on a premium account from a victory some of the defeats have we've been better than that but yeah it's just it's weird I cannot explain it you'd think that even by accident you'd be winning off with your games but no consistently every match I'll get into the team's couldn't find their own ass in the dark without the benefit of a map and a flashlight I can't explain it I've given up trying to play so it's just as well we have these replays that you guys have submitted otherwise you would have nothing to watch tonight because the games I've had just they haven't even been entertaining ly bad they've just been bad so tonight is a celebration of epic failure and some of the replays that you guys have sent in not all of them were sent into to win the contest some of them were sent in for entertainment value this is one of them this is strangers one two three in his t82 American Tier three tank destroyer in the tier 4 game on ruinberg or at least he thinks he's going to have a game on ruinberg just watch this I have seen some shockingly bad games I've played some shockingly bad games but I have never ever seen anything quite as bad as what you're about to see over the course of the next three okay we ready seatbelts on here we go just keep an eye on dark epic one two three at the back there in the AMX four he's the one who's going to start it all and everybody of course is just driving into each other and there he goes and so it begins


[153.41]
what the hell is going on look at these idiots the amusing thing is the guy who starts it all is one of the last ones to die


[173.44]
and hardly anybody is actually shooting it in that they're all just turning on each other so we've lost one tank we've lost two tanks this is all - friendly fire and strangers is trying to play the game you know there's a couple of people are actually trying to win the match


[195.94]
but we've lost five tanks now now four tanks only two to enemy fire there you go five tanks dead and what the hell are these idiots doing and I have by the way I left everybody's names on on purpose and the reason I've done that is so you can take note of the names of these retards and if you ever bump into them if you play on the EU server and you bump into any of these wank stains please feel free to make up a reason to submit as many complaints as you have left in the day my strangers coming over here anything right he's dead come please get on in the game now but no of course not because assholes are going to the assholes so you know take note of these names folks get them out of to your ignore list you ever see them in the game get complaints submitted about them get them banned and we can keep them banned and look they're still going out and this poor bastard in in the MAA one is the only person on the entire team to even so much as damage an enemy tank wait until we see this final school


[274.63]
and there you go - 2:11 have you have you ever seen anything as bad as that you know you often hear the expression words cannot express the depth of money well of course words can express that's exactly what words are for but words quite literally failed me on this occasion I just I have never seen anything as bad as that now the games I've been having this week I'm in that bad but so they had bitten her yeah they've been in the same in the same league as this next up it's Marcel Davis in is ELC AMX it's t6 encounter battle on the Siegfried line


[334.41]
trust me this one's pretty bad now the ELC is a it's an interesting little tank obviously as everybody knows it doesn't actually have a turret the gun fires forward only and has a very limited for us but it's an incredibly quick little machine it's a very very low slung target very very difficult to hit but it needs to be because it only has 400 health the 90 millimeter gun has something like a 12 second reload and is horrific elite inaccurate and as one of the worst aiming times in the game it's the kind of gun that you either need to be created at a spot which is which means you need to be stationary for far too long to be safe in this tank or you need to be shooting somebody at point-blank range where you can't possibly miss and then getting the hell out and that's the way to play this tank or it certainly seems to be to you as a hit-and-run Raider and and never ever stop if at all possible although one thing that you can do quite successfully in this town especially against taller heavy tanks and I'm talking about the Germans here mostly but the Americans too is Park up alongside a heavy and just wait until you're ready to reload and then reverse shoot them in the ass and then pocket alongside them again and they just don't have the gun depression to deal with you this is what I'm talking about hit-and-run shooting you would really have to get so close you can't possibly miss unless you plan on stopping but the aiming time of going so slow and in this thing if you stop you tend to die you're such an inviting target everybody wants to kill PLC's because they're so annoying and they don't seem to have the I think of the right word you see since patch eight came out with the physics physics has been bad news for a lot of the light tanks it's been very bad news for the T 50 - t something really nasty happened to the suspension of the t 50 - - and patch a came out and I don't know what it is but because the ELC is so squat and low to the ground in such a low center of gravity it doesn't suffer from the same stability problems at the T 50 - tutors you can throw this thing around and it rarely ends up sliding across the ground the way the T 50 does and some extent the Chaffee as well because they're quite top heavy tanks but this thing you don't have that problem enemy kv-1 probably afk and here we go look at that aiming time that is just horrible good damage though okay that kV one is afk but he is giving opposition away even though he's even though he's afk the tank is still spotting us so we're gonna need to deal with that's only going to take one more shot but yeah we are actually losing four right those of you oak panels are three four okay and he's seen us and he's coming to deal with this and this is what I'm talking about there you go you stop you aim hits you you blows your turret ring you can't you can't stop anything and we're hit again stop and still in this tack is just an invitation to die this is going to be tense and that is the first and only time I've ever seen a shot of any caliber bounce off the bouncy frontal armor of a Panzer 3/4 but I don't know what look not the smartest pans of 3/4 driver in the world was actually turning his gun away from Marcel well what the hell we'll take it and yeah we're losing 510


[582.49]
Marcelle now has half of his team's killed there's only that good players left alive


[596.91]
every single person on our team whose diet up to this point except with a 36 on one ace you just died as I said it has no kills and no God now we're losing 712 and there's only so much you can do in an ELC I mean it's not inconceivable that he could that he could win the game against the eighth enemy tanks on the left oh and there we go if you miss you don't hang around it took another hit there you know for evil health you miss you don't hang around waitin to get the next shot off you will die keep going you miss you miss just keep going and never ever ever pop back up again in the same position do not be where they are expecting you to be that's how you survive in this tank


[659.689]
yeah either don't hang around waiting to reload to kill that stuck because if you do m3 Lee will shoot you in the ass and


[673.1]
now is the last one left alive and he has exactly half of his team's killed can he reset the cap there's just too many of them and yeah there we go he couldn't have asked him to do more over half of his team's kills in a 10-5 light tank it's just the team should be ashamed of themselves that was appalling Lee bad but Marcel played a fantastic game and look at what's left if he you know he could have killed more could he could have killed more but doesn't them realistically with all of those guys even though they're on low health and they're all clustered up like that supporting each other you would maybe be able to get away loop back around pop out take a shot and one more of them and kill them but the rest of them would have you there's this just unwinnable you cannot do any more than what he did in this game so exceptionally well played but you know with the team of derps like that it's going to be an uphill struggle regardless of what you're driving well next up we have Tiger Tootles in his is 8 there's only 10 9 on the team it's mostly tier 8 match can we do worse and strangers one two threes t82 game four we can have it down good go watch this


[763.25]
and count about all on ensk I not only have a good gang on this man uh you know Tiger has a pretty good game on this map too but he is the only member of his team who does this is the kind of resort that just makes you want to cry and then uninstall the game will only ever play company battles the kind of result you just never ever want to play a random game again get a load of this now we have five heavy tanks backed up by artillery heading down the eastern flank of this map a tiger and two mediums are the only guys anywhere near the cap or the center of town


[826.239]
okay type59 around the corner and he misses him so not a good start Panther over there waiting to reload doesn't have a shot of the Panther he's on the road on the other side of the building - Panthers


[854.72]
and so far it's not my bad


[869.06]
smalls r23 Targa's getting stuck in back luggage time 59 bang there you go one Panther did I'm back of the turret no go for the Amarok reload and kill David he's even the scores it's four four and we're capping and the deployment of the teams doesn't look that bad you know the spread is oh crap hold on that's an awful lot of enemy tanks over on the eastern flank so they haven't actually run in a much trouble earlier just two Panthers and they're fully capitalizing on that when they're really taken advantage of the fact that there isn't anybody holding this flank on the enemy team


[923.59]
TV fours coming but he's hurt yeah that little outhouse on the side of the building catches me out as well it's not destructible scenery I'm afraid it will stop you


[958.55]
as a friendly heavy coming down this back road who's basically done nothing the entire game other than sit at the end of that road so there is some backup coming down here but it's pretty much just tiger in this type 50:19 overworked yeah we are losing four nine five nine Tigers on three kills speaking of tigers at tie 59th only on three percent what is this guy oh it's a friendly tiger I was wondering what he was doing nothing useful so we're lining up for a fourth kill I finished this tiger off at that time fifty nine doesn't do anything stupid oh and here comes artillery well of course now we got four kills and of course you are going to be public enemy number one for offering you're the only effective member of the team they're going to want to kill you as soon as as soon as possible especially considering where you are is a threat to artillery position


[1029.199]
now we're losing seven nine no we're not when losing seven eleven and we have over half of our team's killed nine eleven five kills


[1046.39]
now there aren't many heavy tanks that you could actually do this chaser type59 and catch him but the is-8 is one of them it is a very quick tank


[1072.37]
and the type 59 thinks he's safe on the other side of that building now you know guess what destructible machine destructible scenery as a different scene normally a type 59 will be able to get around the heavy tank the is a is a different kettle of fish in time the type 59 does the smart thing blows his tracks off but Tigers not sticking around Lag Tiger coming up behind him his tracks blown off so he uses a repair kit get his tracks back up and that he's got to kill that Yap target the avatar is the bigger trend I managed to count self position where he has a shot plate there we go six kills but he's taking a couple of hits


[1124.94]
and he's rightly open there for artillery but you know what else can you do


[1136.73]
he's basically carried the entire team and he's getting understandably upset at this point because he knows he's gonna lose or he fully expects to lose he's done an amazing job he's on 291 health absolutely anybody can watch shot kill him from this point on gon kill him eight kills and now he's all alone it's him against to tier 7 heavies looks like a tiger and I'm not sure what else target P


[1184.13]
well this isn't good


[1190.58]
ah he could have had that Tiger pee could have had him but getting D trapped like that through his aim off the tak swerved a little and now he's on 41 health and they're about a cap oh yeah what can you do


[1221.32]
so he's waiting for the last possible moment to go out and we said but he doesn't know where the enemy Tiger is the one who's doing the capping and there he took a hit and returned and luckily it bounced or either been dead but he may as well have been dead I mean 41 health repairs for those 16,000 credit repairs and even on a defeat he walked away with nearly 1200 experience from a defeat that is just horrible steel wool top gun and he lost that look at that that is just it just makes you want to cry it just it just makes you want to never play a random game again and risk ending up with a team like that it's just appalling ly bad market target beautiful my heart goes out here mate I know how you feel we've all had games like that remember strangers one two three the t82 driver in the opening clip and that just horrible fail fest on ruinberg well here he is again in his kv-1 can this game view any worse well it's as bad but for different reasons and you've got to feel sorry for strangers one two three to send the worst game I have ever seen to be able to be in the position where you were able to recall and take part in and participate in the worst game I have ever seen is bad enough but to be able to send in the second worst game I have ever seen as well takes a special kind of bad luck you know you have to feel sorry for a guy who just Oh watch this


[1343.96]
and what we have here is basically and I covered this in my science of fail video most of the time and the overwhelming majority of cases when you're playing World attacks and one team wins and one team loses what you don't have is one team that's better than the other team I realize you could be forgiven for thinking that is in fact the case but it isn't what you have is one team that is just slightly less shit than the other team even the winning team and this video is going to make it abundantly clear even the winning team mostly consists of players who haven't got a clue what they're doing


[1398.19]
at best you have maybe three or four players on any team in a random match who can actually tell one end of a tank from the other


[1416.15]
and if I didn't convince you with my science of fail video hopefully this particular clip will leave no further doubt in your mind


[1433.69]
so yes we are losing 3-6 our team is just slightly more shit than the winning team now strangers has noticed the threat to the flank over on the other side and you could argue the case that the threat over there is purely because strangers and his platoon mate in the 2 kV ones in a 10-5 game didn't go down that side and you know yeah that's that's a valid argument I'm not going to say it is I'm not going to say it isn't in it maybe but you know they're not the only two tier 5 tanks on the team everybody else over there is just failing horribly so yeah we're losing 5-8 there's not that bad at the moment


[1489.559]
but you know what is particularly shocking is the fact that one of the biggest and slowest tanks on the team is the only one who's gone back to defend the base from being capped and keep artillery alive the fast tank destroyer hasn't the medium tank hasn't it's the slowest tank on the team as the only one who's accepted the responsibility of going back and doing his job which shouldn't really be surprising and yet somehow it always is okay now we're in trouble or we would be if these clowns were any good well I'll tell her he's in trouble there we go yes what's this idiot he's not his guns not even point in the right way how can he not know how can he not know strangers is here there were two light tanks detecting him and he comes driving into the cap circle with his gun pointing the wrong way and stops sideways on to a kv-1 and just sits there just what I don't understand I just don't get how you can be that bad and still be playing a tier 5 tank and this T 50 at least he's killed artillery and he's trying to get behind cover but yeah yeah we can destroy that cover me


[1597.71]
and this this t1 heavy driver is you know I don't even know


[1614.529]
another spectacularly stupid player pounds a 38t driver over there sin there on ten health you've got to take a half to that fella he he gives strangers here and his came he won an incredibly difficult time but he's the only remaining member of the team that do and that's the winning team we're talking about here look at this guy


[1642.2]
how can you possibly be failing so hard


[1651.57]
these two tanks were on 100% when they came across each other he scored one damaging hit but if you'd like that you're gonna love this watch behind him it's another Panzer 3/4 oh no he's caught me from behind I am doomed No yeah really not you are really really not doomed at all and that was really unlucky that that was the shot that could have decided the outcome of the game he hit that panzer 38t on 10 health penetrated and did no damage and that really is the shot that should have decided the outcome of this game you'll see what I mean


[1708.02]
but just look at how stupid these enemy tanks have been and they're on the winning team they're winning 10:14 and they're morons how bad must your team have been to be losing to idiots like this oh speaking of which here we go here comes another one


[1736.65]
but if you think this gum is done what's the looks behind him it's a tier three light tank with an autocannon the autocannon has I don't know 40 millimeters of penetration we're driving a kv-1 here surely he's run away no look at this yeah don't even waste another shot and just ram into death what the hell did he wear up to seven kills now and and I look like one two three four five dead enemy to move they all keep coming up the same way and they all keep dying and none of them not one of them as thought yeah maybe there's a better way to handle this and there's that bloody panzer 38t again and we just can't kill it and so mindful of the fact that there are still two artillery in play although one of them is fail artillery tier two baizen he's probably in a bit of a failure tune but the tier 4 artillery does have to kill so he doesn't at least know what he's doing and were constantly being lit up for them and hit by them because of this panzer 38t driver that we couldn't kill earlier we could hit him we could penetrate him but I shall refuse to do any damage to him when he was on ten health and if we'd been able to kill him well there's still just time left to hunt down and kill the enemy artillery and win the game but you can't you just can't do that you not with this guy lining us up for artillery and this is what's so frustrating about this game strangers has done absolutely everything that you could expect the kv-1 driver to do in a game like this but he is never going to catch and kill a panzer 38t driven by anybody with two brain cells to rub together and the driver of this passive 3080 has pretty clearly demonstrated that he doesn't know it act he does actually know what he's doing he is never going to put himself in the position where strangers can kill him he's just not going to happen he's just going to run the clock down lure him away from the cap circle strangers is never going to catch this guy I mean not in a kv-1 he's struggling the guy over twelve kilometers an hour coming around these corners you kid nothing you're never going to catch a light tank like that


[1938.9]
but just look how dumb the enemy team were until lose to a team like that is oh crap II could have had him again


[1952.09]
but losing to a team as stupid as this is just a disgrace it's the ultimate insult


[1965.739]
just hit him kill him please kill him


[1973.7]
but now he's screwed three minutes left on the clock and all that panzer 38t has to do is keep that rock between him and strangers and wait for artillery to do what artillery does and I've been in this situation myself and it is so frustrating you just can not if he doesn't want to be hit you're not going to hit him


[2016.85]
the only way this is going to end well as if that guy in the light tank does something really stupid and judging by the way he's played so far what do you think the chances of that are pretty slim


[2035.86]
and well I don't really want to put you through another two and a half minutes of watching a kv-1 drive around a rock trying to catch a panzer 38t that unfortunately is it is exactly what happened and that light tank driver wound this down into a draw and he keep teasing them out and well artillery tier two is coming for it


[2075.58]
but Tito artilleries no threat to a kv8 kills see the panzer 38t can't even penetrate the rear of a kv-1 but he doesn't need to and this ended up being one of the most painful draws i've ever seen he just could not catch this guy and he's he's taking risk he's just taking these just laughing at him now he's taking risks he doesn't need to take he's just having fun it's just taunting him it's yeah you are never ever going to kill this guy and there's a minute left and that ends up being a draw and one of the worst games I can ever recall seeing to lose to a team as stupid as that is just insulting and it seems strangely appropriate to end tonight's round up with the first game I ever played in my crusader being an absolutely crap win there we go yeah I killed a stug put the six shots into him dead three shots into that gorilla and then artillery finished him off by doing six whole damage to him but here's the guy who finished me off and su5 I put two shots into him I left him on exactly one health and then my next two shots bounced and he doped me and killed me there's the guy who killed me which seems kind of appropriate it's just that kind of game given the content of tonight's replays there have been some absolutely heartbreaking games on display tonight and thank you guys for sending in not just the best games that you've played for the replay contest but some of the worst games as well like the ones you've seen tonight but yet plenty more where those came from trust me you guys have had some amazingly good defeats and I plan to be doing more epic fail videos along the lines of this one oh it's not too depressing also some games with some incredibly funny stuff and I have a long folder on my hard drive as well so I'll be putting together a compilation of some of the funnier moments from your games as well hopefully I'll raise the spirits limey when you're having a run of games as bad as I've had over the last six days you need something to cheer you up so as always take care on the



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After a particularly awful losing streak that's so far consisted of nothing but six days of one shitty team after another, it's reassuring to know that you guys can have even worse games than I can. Here are some of the worst. Mods used: Crosshairs with Reload Timer: http://www.curse.com/wot-mods/worldoftanks/vanilla-reticle-reload-timer-and/608309

Demoles' Damage Panel: http://www.curse.com/wot-mods/worldoftanks/demoles-damage-panel/606579

Intro music from "Epic Rock Instrumental" by Farhan, used with permission ➜ http://farhan.tgn.tv

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