Cum Town Ep.2- Real Hiphop (5/18/2016)

by: Cum Angel

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come town episode 200 pre-emptive was Reba you're fuckin up the intro this is the second episode of the most highly demanded podcast in the history of podcasting that's right bitch first episode we had 85 million downloads Justin Bieber VEVO numbers yeah we have 85 million downloads 30 million subscribers it's been translated into four languages Japanese German North Korean South Korean how do you translate a podcast is it like like you hear the English faintly and then you hear like a dominant jazz like they do an NPR and then it's always something with a British accent yeah it's always a British / no matter what it is yeah the English know how to speak every language you know it's weird I was thinking about this there's so the British don't use bidets right these toilet paper which we don't you know we use toilet paper but we're separated by like a continent mm-hmm so I feel like it's okay that we use toilet paper which is like the like it's least it's the least hygienic method of wiping dress I mean actually the other too much is the bidet bidet or hand hand yeah hang on well that's what Muslims do it's actually part of the religion they have to I'm serious yeah it's true it's true that sounds yes it's part of the religion you're telling me every Muslim I've meet like for observing that part it's like they don't do it oh sure to finger the asshole they do it yeah but if I would imagine some fingering you say I mean how else would you clean there's a hadith in the Quran that's yeah yeah it's a custom come on dude don't you know about how Jesus I don't know about fucking hadith why do you know about the 10 hadith commandments man number two there's not a biggie so never use never use your fucking your hand the one of the guy that wrote the Quran was also the guy that wrote Hamilton ya Brandon's friends with them and together wrote the Quran you know well I think it's funny but I was all I was gone Hamilton the music really really blue blue blue black black black Hamilton the musical real hip-hop yeah wouldn't it be fun to if to go see Hamilton the way we watched a Yankees game that would be great speaking of which yes me and stop her back and we're joined by another official combo another official og coach on Twitter handle its 743 followers right everybody get the bump bitch yeah Adam Friedland just my name one word mine stop comedy by the way guys was there a stockist I don't like to go stuff halkias I don't know I like branding yeah comedians comedian duh is my middle name before Marc Maron blocked me I told him that you remember dark mark yeah I told eyes tweeted at Maron and I said there's a guy going by a dark mark Maron said dark Maron going onstage doing all this is a black guy goes by dark you troll fucking troll for asshole asshole troll you and Maron when Gandolfini died was one of the funniest fucking thing I wish you could get blocked by Marc Maron multiple times we should we should we should petition Twitter to give you an option that Marc Maron is it's the only only effects marks account but he's only allowed to block people for 36 hours and that the ban expires you're allowed to fuck with mark it comes right back around him and kill Steen that's actually my biggest triumph anyone that follows me automatically blocked by Jamie kill Steen really yeah just anyone anyone he has it set up yeah he has it set up that's awesome how'd you how'd you swing that I don't know I guess they have like programs that that you can use but what did you do to get kills even block you oh he was he was having like a conversation with somebody I think it was Lindy West but I found a conversation I'm having where that's a nice back and forth where he was like like 910 replies deep in a conversation with her so that it was a kind of convoluted but it was a friendly conversation and I just quoted one of his tweets or I like replied to one of his like I dot added one of the tweets in this long thread yeah and I was like wow wouldn't expect rape jokes from Jamie kill Steen so like to even check that I was lying you would have to read through this conversation and like Jamie saw that and thought maybe I was somebody that like you know took it out of context or like just didn't understand I mean there was no rape joke yeah yeah he was like what what are you talking about there's no write joke please that's his biggest fear right yes he's more afraid of doing a rape joke than being raped of being yeah of being problematic this is a message for the bumbaclot the NRA if you're an NRA bumbaclot I got I got a kale sandwich for you pal a knuckle kale sandwich my gluten free knuckle sandwich

yeah that turned out to be if you get too many jerk chicken wings from Buffalo Wild with your ass just stops working my ashes bumble clogged just means blood that's how they say blood right there's no bumbaclot is a gay man it's a it's a gay I thought it just really I didn't know but isn't isn't like little but bottie boy is a guy here's the thing everything Jamaican say is a gay it's true every every since you don't like queers over there in Jamaica no they really hate them have you ever seen daggering dancing or they like jump dick first off a table and once master dick WWE totally is it's dancing you would think it would be like gold dust finishing moves what is this daggering they call it daggering it's like a dance ya know I mean it's just like very aggressive dry humping is like the dance form but then they're doing shit like jumping off balconies like crotch first their dick into a woman's face and show like collapse yeah the doctors told them you got ya know my ball cancer turned why not balls who's the bumbaclot yeah it was or whatever I went to I did go to a Chinese urologist dr. Louie who had one star I was automatically assigned the primary care physician in Chinatown and then the role I get is gonna be from you can change that shit I could yeah well I got to reopen ow I got to go see a specialist in Medicaid yeah yeah my year yeah I have just a fucking pain in like right by my like under my hip between my hip and dick what's that all about I do it's probably cancer I think so I mean I didn't have a pain I had a lump I need to go check it out it's gone now I just yeah check it off know what we sucked it out yeah what's funny is being is something shoots out of your dick after he jerks you off yeah no I mean they play with your balls and dick it's not a jerk you all like kind of yeah yeah I did he did that and you know what the worst part about a proctology exam is you think it's the finger in your ass it's not the worst part is when you're walking home and yes clean all the lube out your leaking fluid out of your ass into your pants and anytime you sit down you can feel it and that's like that's like the morning-after scene in American History X we're all laughing at him in the cafeteria that's how I felt you know in Starbucks Chinese guy by the way he had this bucket full of Magnum condoms in his office Wow yeah and it's like you know what I'm gonna say some racist yeah well we've got plenty of racist stuff to cover so we're not we're not worried about time on this one when I had it done I'd never been penetrated directly and there was an old man nice and he was like I'm gonna have to give you a rectal exam and then when they touch when they press the prostate it feels like you need to pee really bad yeah but I didn't feel that I didn't feel anything except what the fuck that was the only experience whichever one you guys that's my answer no I made a noise I was just like I didn't really yeah I was like I picked my pants up off the floor and I came in had my pants off but I found my pants to come in them that's what I do with girls - yes ever do that you have sex and you pull out and then you go get your pants from the other side of the room and you come in in the pocket in the right pocket so I went to college in England and that's what they do there I couldn't come like on a person until very recent what yeah what do you mean what would you do when I got jerked off for the first time I was like when I got jerked off for the first time I was like in those girls car I love it in the middle of the desert outside of Las Vegas like I'd never gotten a handjob before and it lasted like it was like an hour 45 minutes did you have to lie it was like half the Scorsese yeah come on her in a hole no it was it actually shit we were outside Las Vegas what she was in her car I'm from Las Vegas for the listener we got any Las Vegas fans we got new stones - Viva rock Vegas fans out there oh my god Rosie O'Donnell being Betty is the most criminal thing of all time base was we like this hot everyone wants to fuck her was that a sequel do you are you dropping IMDB details about Viva rock Vegas I don't know about real rock weights but the first flints whichever Flintstones it was like yeah it was Rosie O'Donnell and who the fuck else was in that wasn't it John Goodman Goodman it was as though but she was fucking Betty Rose you're almost Betty and bass must be like the fucking who's is that the neighbor's wife the blue and the we had Wilma is the who played Woma I don't remember yeah I don't know I saw that shit in theaters me too big anyway I'm in this girl's excruciatingly first she'd never like she like looked at it and she's like I'm not gonna suck it I was like alright fine but you can if you want how old were you I was like 15 nice you know nice and she at first like grabbed it like this and just her hand grip this is for that she did it overhand and just start pulling it like she's like a lawnmower and I was like please no and then but like the the point is I had like I had to finish so I could say I got a handjob pathetic you don't have to tell me man all right but so then like it was like going so long and then finally I felt like I was gonna come and I the I don't know if it was the pressure of her how like her grip or whatever but I just came like in my fit I came in my own I came in my talk yeah yeah yeah that's hilarious yeah the first time a girl ever touched my penis I came in my own fist and so then I was like girls have been like no it's bad I guess I've never come on my own face you never have no dude I fucking I was getting jerked off for a very long time it wasn't my first hand job ever but I think it was like a first one with like this particular girl and it was a similar thing where I was taking like was so long and she didn't want to she don't want to suck it suck me you're like fuck so just like well you know what this is what you want to do fine I'll let you fucking just keep meeting me off and she yeah and it just like shot in my eye actually right into my fucking eye I have a curved up dick I guess to you as well or no I dream I dream once that I could do that I could just take my dick but then also like thrust it somehow fuck my own ass walk draw see and I remember in the dream being like why but I've been beating off like this the whole time oh by the way this is sponsored by stamps calm it's different one in my head I was like we're gonna write skit we're gonna do this - we're gonna do a funny commercial sketch in the break every time but then that just turned into me editing in like the audio from some anti-gay PSA can we talk about like yes let's get realistically first of all is going to listen to this a-ok there's probably some DeFazio down psycho Bulldog heads look I I have I have is like psychos I have 20,000 I have 20,000 Twitter followers combined with the three of us that's twenty thousand five hundred I'm sorry whirring whirring stops I Brandon Waddell our boy who was extended his trip in New York I liked me I like when brands here because it's like you just see him when he's here imagine keep like his life is just a fucking he just gets fucked up and just doesn't have to have any kind of responsibility and like I can hang with that for a couple weeks but then I have to like go to work and shit do you know anything like it was fun I mean and it's still funny like the Yankees game and just getting fucked up and shit but boy I don't want to fucking do it all the time I'm getting so yeah well yeah he extended his trip four more days and

he's not gonna listen to this he pre might he probably will no you probably will did he Google's his own name yeah that's true a a rampant name searcher I love to name search he was like I was searching my name on Twitter and I saw these girls criticizing me yeah that's honestly you know I love I haven't attained any monokuma of success but if I do people are saying mean things about me on the internet like comics gets so bad about that yeah the event something that really would not bother it's it's really inevitable I mean as soon as as soon as you do anything that anyone could pay attention to but you'll get maybe like for every like ten people that are like hey yeah this is pretty good good job you have some ones like here's your address come here now I'm gonna fuck you everyone seemed like YouTube comments like it turns into Nazi like within five comments it could be any videos well that's your base level on YouTube YouTube somehow worse than the rest of the Internet and I don't know I don't know what it is it's like most-used like there's no aiming yeah yeah there's like none of the like social justice like we shouldn't be mean to people attitude on YouTube it's one of my favorite comments I was watching that Taylor whichever the last Taylor Swift big single was shake it off I think I was watching that on YouTube when it came out and one of the top comments was from an account name James Bond and it was I all N word should die you know what yeah well that is original it's doctor doctor no doctor no black people yeah no I thought he was a coding taylor swift lyrics that's the chorus right well I just loved it it was a top comment yeah votes people are like thanks James Bond for helping you know keep things on track here on the Taylor Swift page that's a good point why aren't more motherfucking SJW to because they lost that war that's a years ago that's the Detroit of the Internet is YouTube they are growing kale and burned-out house if you check down there in the rubble oh yeah it's in there bitch do you guys have a youtube series that you watch yeah see that's why it's because it's yeah half of YouTube is like kids from Muslim countries it's like kids from wiping the moon in Saudi Arabia know their hands watching breastfeeding videos or like breast exam videos me like I love to watch how to touch the breast please you know in the comments and then the other half is just you know racist I was talking with Brandon actually last night at my apartment about my favorite Twitter account which has been inactive since 2012 when is it best porn comments he's the absolute best no it's just like this dude just takes comments from like you know porn sites online and then like it's a really good yeah well there was the account where that I came to Jack my day I collect those I go on ChatterBait and I screen cap like things people write to the camera a debate is like cam girl yeah it's like you know people take off their clothes and masturbate on camera which is like already sad enough to do I mean it's like a step beyond just looking at porn for me is that I'm like alright I guess I'm gonna jack off you want to know it's a real person yeah does he want to feel the fucking desperation I've got fired from Barnes & Noble half of them are like lesbians too which is like it feels even worse because I've never been into like lesbian porn but especially when I know it's like actually somebody that's a lesbian and it's like you don't want me beating off to you you don't want any really you know what my friend lived in like the Bay Area and he all his friends were punks and like they started they all started different fetish sites like one of them was a hair fetish site yeah and all these gay women were doing these like hate like really hairy vagina porns and like their primary like population that was like buying it was like dad's in the Midwest so it was like a really interesting crossing oh gosh love that bill that big hairy bush gosh don't you know yeah it's a huge huge reminds me of the Twin Cities I'm making a lot of dairy out of my dick I love cheese and uh oh honk map also have like the number-one porn search birthday did you see ya know what was where lesbian I think ya know in Iran it was Iran's number one porn search term with hotel business [Laughter]

massive like what do you even get comes out it's like these horny fourteen-year-old you know Persian boys that are like hotel can I see please man lien hotel business do it is the guy to suit in a hotel jack I mean maybe yeah sexy the woman it'd be so funny if it was just a guy I would look business awfully big ops to Ron for for having the most exciting the most exciting deal Iran we're counting on you we trust you you're gonna hold it down dude you're not gonna be bad for not good boys cool nuclear reactor President Roh so like that's what's a shot so so Ron it was just business suit what is it a hotel business man back to ChatterBait ice cream cap the the shit people write to the porn girls and one of them was this guy was he wrote go shaadi it's your birthday the girl was born in like 1995 yeah but if she wasn't like cool Yolo Yolo masturbating she wakes up in the morning checks her phone oh my god I forgot it was my birthday on cam I'm gonna take my clothes off I'm gonna finger my ass I would beat off on cam Blake if my dick was nice dude you can make a look at how many Instagram followers you have on that game you can start a gay account for the stavarin homosexual it's less sighs erotic male yeah it's a comedy it is really funny I'm nude at almost every picture and I do have but I do have at least 250 just gay men who love fat guys following me but my dicks not like I get I get a lot is hashtag like anything I put on instagram with hashtag gay boy hashtag instigate because you automatically get like an additional fifty line yeah yeah yeah I get all these followers he's got like every picture that they don't put on clothes every picture is them in like a speedo on vacation sounds great that's a big part of being on vacation they're like Brando my God my Brandon with a better body was it not like did sex get with men but like I just see pictures of myself at like 8 mike beckons gay oh I was gay in the white computer sense oh no I was like the theater like fingers yeah yeah yeah I was a performer yeah and then you didn't kiss any boys I did what I kind of still liked girls but you know I was still of one of the gayest childhood memories I was such a fucking I like whenever someone like I feel like all little kids when you tell them specifically not to do something yeah they just want to do the fucking you know the apt one do the exact opposite and it was my parents had that don't show your privates to a stranger conversation oh you know in that phase yeah it could continue your and I was hanging out with like this kid this the next-door kid this guy think it was like who gives a fuck he was my neighbor in Baltimore and I asked to see his dick I was like so do you want to show each other our privates my and he was like no thank you thank God that kid wasn't like some weird I would have been gay from that but I would have gotten see but that's just your memory contorting what actually happened yeah there's actually a 30 year old man

when I was a kid like okay so first of all I didn't mean gay like in the sex way but like sure there was like I was at a birthday party and like they had Belle from Beauty and the Beast there and I like stood up like in the middle of her like presentation for the kids and I was just like well if you're really Belle where's the Beast I was like sassy yeah I think oh yeah well everybody does like stuff that's because you're a little boy so you don't have like all the rules of masculinity with you by the oppressive patriarchal but ya know I remember my I when I was like six or seven is like eight or nine I thought of like Nathan Lane was my favorite act he was gay and I was no he was an ego good god that's probably why he's like the voice from wise guy exactly so and then I remember finding out he was gay and being like sad and my mom was like you know Rosie O'Donnell's gay and I was like no she is it and then when I found out I prayed for her I was also religious and I prayed she would like not go to hell I was so bummed out my the other thing about the penis thing you were saying like my parents used to have dinner parties and like put me at my cousin asleep and we just run down like 10 minutes later we'd like pull our pants down and just hold our like tiny little boy penises and like run around and say Peter's party Peter's party yeah and like the adults would all dive laughter we knew it was like an a.1 except like the one adult there that was like a file it was just sweating full please stop bruised oh uh Chuck Adam and his friend Ian if you'd like go to bed that is a good bit we thought yeah we thought that was great yeah my cousin my cousin would do that when he was a little kid he is he would like get his dick hard and then complain that it hurt when he was like five used to let me get that for you second one I didn't know what an erection was and I had a boner popping out of my boxer shorts when I was a little kid and my dad looked at it and he goes to my mom he's like Joanne he has an erection like come here right now she's supposed to hit it put it away why is that the mom's jaw that's the dads chest he jerks you off to completion right yeah all the single moms out there bad away their sons directions yes but I had one time I like dead-bolted the apartment come into their home yeah it was like a latchkey kid so like my mom would get home till like 7:00 so I had I'm in between 10:00 and like 13 it was like okay well I get home at 2:45 and then I masturbate until 6:00 6:59 and then there was but you know is occasionally she would come home early or something and there is like one afternoon where I just had like everything out like the whole setup but massage I was like using to Jack my coffee rubbing your balls will you beat vibrating obtained dollars ever like her rosary beads in my ass just a second doors dead balls it so she's like screaming through the whole what are you doing in there why here's your over the door down it was like a small apartment so there's no way I have to walk all the way through I don't my dropping shit it was like banging against something of vibrators back massager it's like hitting the bed frames like yeah that was embarrassing but never walked never walked in on and she like she saw it and then she goes you know you it's very late you should be you should go to bed and then she started laughing and left really it was the world she's like looked at your dick I don't know if she saw I was just like she lost I like turned around I was like oh my ass three weeks ago my grandmother man huh as a man as a man as a fucking 27 year old man right now my grandma was home for Easter and my grandmother like never leaves her room and I'm just beating off with the door open or no the doors closed but she never leaves a room and she's just like completely uncharacteristically barges in to give me like Easter money no no no put the money down put the money down I am just beating off dude like a computer you can hear the porn that's right yeah but I had a friend growing up who was like Venezuelan and they were like weirdest families Venezuela and he's like yeah my dad taught me out to masturbate like his dad like instructed him how to do it and would like buy porn for him and shit his family was like very sexually progressive they just accepted that their son had to masturbate and like he would just leave the door to his compute the computer room open and it wasn't like a big house or anything it was like there's the kitchen and then the stairs and then like the room where they had their computer and you have the door wide open and his mom like would just be walking by and he would just be like that and we'd come over and you'd be like oh yeah he's upstairs and we go up there'd be like hey guys dick out just beating off and that's a part of their culture Venezuela that is true yeah that is true julio brought it over after they escaped well you know we're welcomed with open his liberation yeah they were immediately you know they'd a ticker tape parade for all the nazis that quote-unquote escaped I saw they remember with the not my boiler thing when Hillary was like you know ten ways Hillary's like your abuela there was a good an article that they put out that's hot yeah it's trying like appealed and then some girl wrote a thing that was like no cuz not my abuela blew up a Latin X which is what I see online which is like it's like it's if you're not really Hispanic but but you want to just do your own yeah so yeah they were like you know complaining there was one girl that wrote a thing and she was like a white Hispanic girl from Argentina and it was I it's actually you know considering the history of like colonialism and imperialism in America for you to say you're my abuela and such a like a culturally appropriate away and it's like your journey a white well you're not a new German Argentinians are like Ray Italian yeah well you're like Spaniard you're a fuckin Spaniard so you're no different from an American white person right but on top of that your country was like we think the Nazis are pretty good yeah yeah yeah he just was a fuckin Hitler's dream he was six eight blond hair blue eye he's on the basketball your AG way in team to Diego forlán blonde we have to take a quick break I think so Manu ginóbili his grandfather was Himmler Heinrich Himmler which one was a good one the desert fox right oh yeah everyone's favorite Nazi the tightest not what he did he's sick he just hated he wasn't he chased the British Army with a small tank battalion across northern yeah he was like the only guy that Patton respected really yeah his Ernst with Ernst Rommel yeah he made them go so fast because they would like push up dust so like the Army's like far away would see the dust and be like oh it's a ton of people coming it was like just him and like just being a psycho and then he and then he tried to assassinate Hitler oh so this guy was cool he was like a career like you know soldier he's a queer soldier he was I mean he was a Nazi for part of his life that's true yeah but all the great Nazis we got after the war through Operation Paperclip do science to do science yeah you know what's funny about was it was Operation Paperclip I think so so initially it was named after the Microsoft so initially they were like no SS guys they're like we're only gonna take like here scientists or you know like just German scientists no nobody actually affiliated with the Nazi Party and then it was a bit like the Russians and the Americans splitting up all these Nazi you know scientists after the war and then they realized like okay well all the best scientists were affiliated with the Nazi Party so they're like let's just take the Von Braun Wernher von Braun is buried in Arlington there's like pictures of him and like John F Kennedy they were like friends and he was just a not like an actual Nazi that invented rockets to kill Americans nice but he got us to the moon he got now he's the hero of the movie October sky which is a Nazi and not some good ol war Nazi propaganda we're gonna take we're hurts a five-minute break combined fuck yes welcome to the 90s and welcome to a way to explore new horizons I think it's good to slap a woman no I don't think it's good I don't think it's that bad I think that it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it what would merit it well if you have tried everything else and women are pretty good at this they can't leave it alone and they know what the one who had the last word and you give them the landfill last word but they're not happy with the last one they want to say it again and and get into a really provocative situation then I think it's absolutely right burn burn hurry up burn put this in here nightmare nightmare and then over here I want you to come down and help Pizza burn Devil's pizzas made fresh every day fresh crust fresh baked fresh toppings and when it comes to toppings burned devils has got it all am I talking too fast for you burn your right burn save the pizza I can always grow new legs [Music] hey everybody welcome back to come town Nick our host is actually still in the bathroom so I'm gonna intro we've got a very special guest here we're speaking about us we have two very special guests I'm sorry wow what an honor I didn't even realize she was gonna be here two very special guests the first is a comedian Nick knows very well he had him on it was his he booked them and we have Seth cock filled here with us oh that's actually Seth dick field hockey field is a different guy okay I see you're different I'm sorry there's no relation between the two of us it's ne ne ne ne you know similarities is a complete coincidence legal purposes you can't say that you know this is just a cruel impression of a guy I'm not particularly friends with Seth Dick field I'm sorry oh boy I am NOT the the guy that you from Family Guy we also have here a very respected blogger Lindsay East Lindsay eats everybody out I have been a fan of yours forever hopefully you know how to speak more Javadoc coo coo on so long oh good Adams back you guys see was that job I think so I don't think in the West well I'm so glad to be here so we can talk septic field did I go back old right he used to protest outside my synagogue when I was growing up oh yeah they're not Jewish I'm sorry Adam please I actually I've been circumcised three times my foreskin keeps growing back to get it removed I know it's a real thing it happened to me what I've had my I had my dick completely cut off once I learned about feminism in 2013 and I became woke as it were I had I said I said cut it off I don't even want to be associated with these rapists out here I want my dick returned so progressive of you said you wanted where to go I mailed it to the Republicans and I said you can give pal you can go ahead and keep it that ought to show them you can go ahead you can put this with Andrew Jackson and the rest of your dirty money your move Republicans I had I paid for it with the new Harriet Tubman 20s the dick removal surgery wow that's incredible thank you that's great Seth and I understand it's crazy how long Nick's taking in the bathroom but I understand that you had you know I hope I hope he's getting beat up by a trans person in there oh yeah that's what you want that's what I want I want all the bathrooms to be filled with trans people and they're all free and you don't have to tip great well that's good to know said that you want them to commit acts of violence against this white man is that correct absolutely I think I think that's the only way to restore justice is if you know how about we start lynching these all these straight white guys I consider myself a hero oh I well I'm I love girls blue what can I say I love him oh I wanted to I want to kiss him and hug him and take him out on dates what are your pronouns chef hee-hee him her I he him she her she seemed a him her at the moment which here's what I do as I go into the movie theater and I say do you have a military discount and if they ask for the ID I say never mind so I guess that's what my identity is that is a very intricate gender constructor set but let's you mention the movies let's get right into it Adam we're not here to gab with Seth absolutely absolutely I you feminists ghostbusters hands down it's not even out yet they're so excited about it no I mean it doesn't come out till the summer well because I've been blogging about I've been talking about it first but Wow let's see when did they announce it seven and a half years ago I think so you have been talking about this this movie that's gonna change everything we're gonna get I mean I used to like Hillary and then I found out that it's cool little like Bernie so that's that's who I support now but feminist ghostbusters all the way great what do I think we should remake every movie but with da rules they should make it what are you like what are your top five girl typing you do girl babe to pig in the city girl sex in the city girl HBO's girls so you don't think there's enough women in HBO's girl there should be how many are there this for there should be 72 that sends a message what's that to the terrorists to the terrace what about girl Gary girl Ross that would be my favorite movie I think David Mamet should be sent to prison for using cuss words you know what I call him Seth

David man because he its father yeah [Laughter] do you guys hear Eric Trump's dad is running for president prompt to bris would you fuck Ivanka I know I would never fuck any you know I mean I would respect a woman's vagina with my semi-erect I listen to the sound of my own voice echoing back out sort of like a shell the ocean well oh is that nickname are you back already Oh Here I am oh she just said oh I miss Seth yeah sorry meet him our best friend you know who's just cause death or the POC is out there you can't say the n-word I can't even human okay oh it looks like yeah so what do we have on here else I just wrote down some news items the Yellowstone bison you see that story so there's like a bison calf in Yellowstone Park and these people like saw it and they thought it looked cold so they put it in their car drove it to a ranger station to like save it and the Rangers are like yeah it's fine I don't know why did this and they tried to bring the Bison back but they'd already like smelled like asshole you know from being in that Subaru yes yeah super so like the the mom bison or whatever rejected it and then they had that just like mom buys and buys ma took a squirrel into our apartment the other day why because she said it was a baby she said it's a baby nest [Music]

mom and dad I was like well how do you know and then apparently she actually did the right thing she's headed back to a animal rehabilitation service hell yeah dude you know their horn not ivory it's actually keratin that's it's a unique animal among the and that's what you straighten hair with it's what hair is made out of oh wait yeah so rhinoceros is horn is like a big fingernail on their fucking and humans can actually grow them humans can have like if you there's like it's a rare thing oddly affects Chinese people more than anyone else oh but here you go spinning your conspiracy theories I'm pretty you know what I got offered an apartment outside of Chinatown I might take you hundred dollars cheaper than my current place on store even how often do you speak Greek that's the only benefit of living there every time I hurry you know and speak Greek okay so once a day so yeah I use it a lot actually he's my Greek a lot Yozora give me a fucking sandwich yeah you wanna speak a little Greek for Pocket let me say top five animals in Greek go in Greek no daddy who's that lion lion minds are tight isn't it Leonidas yeah it's a Michael Dukakis that's it that's my third animal that was my dad's joke when I told him he had never heard the plot synopsis before when I was explaining plot synopsis two movies like what the fuck is applause never heard the term plots enough no he's like it's just what it's about that's an what happens in the movie you would never say plot synopsis so I said it to him one time he's like that sounds like a like a Greek like film professor George very dad

what else some good yo octopus octopus octopus isn't that already Greek because my parents stupid I could do all the cons you want to you want me to do some yeah let's do here Smosh is the n-word so here's the white people went down there and they're like we're inventing a language it's called African higher continent it's a Dutch like it's a derivative of Dutch so if you speak Afrikaans you can understand yeah interesting it's like a pidgin language yeah that the servants would speak okay so this is uh I remember actually once my dad used to have this saying in Afrikaans when I was a kid and he's on the field play ball said do was a lion [Laughter] yeah was a lion did your parents like saying this it was a great warrior your dad killed by his brother get it guys that's a Lion King reference I said it it fell flat and then I made all right favorite song from Disney v on three all of us one song fucks I cast on no one looks like a star no one can suck on my dick like a star yes I was gay right well no guests on is the hero of that monster love guests on yes it's a monster it's first of all Gaston for all of his flaws is not some rich asshole hey castle I also love that no one in that town was like hey did we have like a prince yeah royal family that controlled everything you just want to turn into a monster in the castle we got to wrap it up because Stobbs got to do a more important podcast biggest item I know you guys have been waiting for it I stopped by the Red Box today there is a new Tony Hawk pro scale for what to drag that soundtrack in my face Goldfinger's super you gets me amped yeah they've mighty mighty police truck yeah that was probably my name is yeah racecar driver yeah yeah yeah I died 50,000 times to racecar driver yeah blood in the PlayStation version they took it out of the Nintendo version don't intend oh it was like gay about you know having violence which you guys have you ever play Conker's Bad Fur Day no do you have it okay so like rare rare was like Nintendo's you know like that was like their best developer whatever unit Goldeneye and like Donkey Kong all that shit and they got tired of making like games for children and I don't remember the details probably talking about this is the way I tell the story and I right yeah so they had to make a platformer for Nintendo and they chose like this character conquer which was like a squirrel from the diddy kong racing game and did me like fuck yeah the whole game he's like you know drunk and he's like fucking ya know pretty much dude he's like yeah one of the bad guys is like a giant pile of shit that's like fuck you that cursing or whatever and they released a game in like it got rave reviews and then Nintendo like just sold the company after that they were furious because it was like like adults yeah cuz then they want to make you know I mean use like you they still make the same shit what is that what is that guy make anything else you know what company why was the whole company okay yeah I don't know I mean yeah like Goldeneye and Perfect Dark and all that shit I know Microsoft bought the company after that y'all won't play Leisure Suit Larry yeah it was that a game just about fucking the whole thing pretty much there was another game for the Atari called Custer's revenge where you just played a naked general cause you just didn't have clothes on and you had to like run through all these like indie and shooting arrows at you and at the end of the level you got the rape there's a Native American woman tied up to a tree and you rape her as general what how about that Jezebel about that game it's not like this isn't just some this is General Custer who knows it's my old friend Eric Tilden's mom named all the Pokemon really old friend because he's mad but so does that mean she could name them [Laughter] Tendo and like obviously Pikachu was like Japanese but like all like Bulbasaur yeah that's one that she names like holding English cognate ones are interesting did she name mr. mime the blackface one

n-word Larry the Mark Twain okay from a book and on that note apologies to everybody that's to join us next week when our guests will be Neil deGrasse Tyson oh yeah he's a big fan yeah yeah yeah a message and he actually said that we could use the n-word he said he said I gave you Adam you want to go first Neil did grace to grant Degrassi Tyson is the guy that's allowed to be invented bat flipping oh hell yeah bitch hell yeah alright so we should end it all right thanks guys thank you so much luck stay safe and make sure to use the right bathroom [Laughter]






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