Michael Blackson Birthday Comedy ROAST

by: Michael Blackson

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Transcript:

[0.089]
tonight is my birthday roast I have to figure out the perfect outfit to wear I want to make it easy for my haters to hate so I decided to go with it matrix laughs Empire slash blade despite it's different niggas in one this outfit here ok I know I says my birthday I'm trying to figure out my age don't worry about it I don't know my age I was born in a village my mother had me at home in the backyard I was in a hospital nobody was there to write shit down ok I'm between 29 and 99 mind your fucking business so it's gonna be off the chain I think I'm gonna go the matrix look vampire did I want to come up she told him at the same time so I think I'm gonna go with this I like to shit on my haters you know this is a birthday roses your birthday you have to blink you have to shine so I'll go with this many groups of red pants hopefully there's not Crips there because you know they seem ready won't fight me listen I'm not a gangster I'm just a bitch-ass nigga the roast tonight is going down I got all my personal friends comedians I've known for 15 20 years to come down and roast me use the nigga I know everything about me you know but nothing hurt my feelings because three years ago I surgically removed my feelings I have no feelings okay so fuck all you motherfuckers the roast is coming down [Music] [Applause] get there my complexion of you dress like inglourious basterds s what they dress like in bison from Street Fighter gotta know what the fuck that make our bids coming to the stage man look fuck they don't be the white black dog this boys you look oh hey y'all get up for my part need me to get on my head I get up for Roger ROG soul of man so long therefore the company got dinner oh whoa good to be here I know what everybody singing down to let's say Bon Jovi improve Center had a baby doesn't it no Mikey I'm got the idea of a fucking roast yet you have famous motherfuckers up here I don't know where the goddamn Roasters headed the audience begins everybody here got 350 youtube uploads in 14 views it's all about Michael tonight day he was born his mama took one look at Emma City damn cornbread ain't the only thing I burned the day


[191.9]
Nikki's doing black and sperm cells got bad credit


[203.78]
cool don't worry I got this shit shit open so tested in the hood I got this [Applause] motherfuckers like this how they feel they go to court okay just relax we got this that's another white people make some money why are you know wouldn't leave me hangin you motherfuckers next thing is we're yet what they do close the kitchen


[238.39]
where was this black boys facing the light come on do you make more noise than that pretend like you're at the fucking movies Roger Roger if you're looking like a straight lesbian early eighties at all it's a fucking vampire you like a boy fucking Greggy aged at all produce nigga stealing like real any like on traveling now Michael black so one more time happy birthday I think I got every color in the motherfucking colored box on so what Xena celebi's just hang out with each other goddamn we're circling Coolio with incoming so we here to roast this motherfucker how you elope somebody else already roasted [Music]


[310.12]
but upstairs I hate when people call Mike ugly Mike you're not ugly you're like facially challenged your good looks and talent happy for Mike might get money now here Mike's very successful one of the hottest comics in the country man but I thought they'd see it when you get money you're supposed to look better right money makes you look better right they must be paying you a monopoly money listen I'm we're all serious this is one of my best friends probably my best friend in the business we started out of Philly together man 25 years I'm not only are you a good do man and not only are you challenging I'm very happy for your success man and your good father man you're good to your family members you're good to your staff man you're good to me like my man Roger I said you put me in a lot of stuff man and I appreciate you everything you do man I Love You Man basically what I'm trying to say Mike is can I borrow $50 y'all get up a tip all baggy to put your ball and they got on a dress shirt and gym shoes they run tracks for the church


[383.479]
I sweated on outside waiting on my girl to bring my phone right


[463.02]
why is it sneaking in shimane mention


[481.05]
any rules don't understand you see this thing in the movie talk about the joint anyway so again and they're sneaking them in the back door oh my god man I thought my career was like boom in or some when I got that text me I'm about to punch you in your black aunt's face [Applause] fucking John see you give a fuck she need bones nigga stood up here with niggers and just fucked it up maybe y'all give her another round for the rope and the whole goddamn time you don't see a big is here like a colleague little Lizabeth looking like The WB frog hello my baby hello hello how you sit by your kids like a pig in a wheelchair I swear to God look at that leave strong craggy lead like Johnny Bravo this building like Foghorn Leghorn that's where the garden I say I say I say I say I'm gonna show up tonight these motherfucking tight ass motherfucking high blood pressure pants on mother fuckin niggas nuts is separated you look like a skinny nigga with a fat pussy fucking costume ass motherfucker jury on I hate you motherfucker everything that happened in my career everything that happened this thing ain't have nothing to do with it let you know that right now this nigga ain't never fucked me on the show or nothing we got other motherfuckin comedians doing security for he's a hater I'm telling you this motherfucking hater he made another motherfucking comedian park his car for you ain't shit nigga need help nobody your whole motherfucking life nigga fuck you I just want to come here and tell you fuck you for the rest of your life they're gonna fuck you to death nigga and you know me you know who the fuck I am you know with [Music] [Applause] this


[651.629]
[Applause]


[671.88]
[Music] this is the only bitch to eat Chinese food with new chips like a legend things like I was worrying about you think I thought she was Olivia this thing is trying to speak to the light section Roger rides dick so small let me tell me piss you gotta wipe his ass that nigga look like Princess Leia I did it buddy be a bike but I've already now Mike that's a rarity was adapted by two Jewish man


[742.069]
they found an infected or get poor mite was Bobby Brown God did it


[759.73]
here's God's work niggas who was the last night I was up here though just nigga clothing so baggy there like a dirty teddy bear


[796.46]
fuck Mike who's that nigga I was in building like a new day we see every Friday so that even know is correct Instagram like mine happy whatever the fuck birthday don't nobody know how old you are they just popped up


[855.62]
my believe Mike was African so one day I wrote that nigga had cut my heart because he's American but his hair Isis [Music] here can't get through TSA I gotta go check baggages hair like you somebody you take that I don't handy what up tomorrow and shoes on shit nigga to pass the key issues


[906.74]
you got yo Kiev good simulaid my child shit I got the toilet it's time soon you get that round my nigga play Jack it all


[931.94]
[Music]


[950.5]
and you haven't seen my girlfriend oh fuck my girlfriend bad clearly this girl is hurt before back couponing site [Applause] thank God in my life these are doesn't depend on making motherfuckers laughs I actually do something that requires a little bit of talent Mike what can I say about Mike Mike you are amazing man you really are and fucking everybody you're saying man Prince we change and Michael Jackson was fuckin be proud of his motherfucking ensemble you put together right that's all shit that's what legends do legends don't do it everybody else do they do the fuck they want and that's what Mike has been doing Mike is a good dude I really don't have shit to say everybody the same you know eat blackest book we know you wear carpets we know all this bitch shit honestly the motherfuckers one comedian that I've known since I've known him that been a straight real dude and humble since day one always kept it real for y'all so if you're also advocates that keepin it real y'all better phone this motherfucker right here because he is definitely called on the back so you know like I said I don't know where is everybody saying everything about you as your shoes other those pay less I don't like it too much I don't know his jury look state I don't know it's a lot of shit that Michael Jackson Jackie I'll go no fucking room now let me bring up in the room say a man coming to the motherfucking saves this nigga here is the hardest-working motherfucker in the business nigga walk past moon face bad motherfucker man y'all get up let's go he better knows all of that we don't know what the fuck about the same he's gonna go through this just like a tornado in a trailer park let's hear Michael Blackson show long


[1116.84]
what's up you motherfuckers as you can see behind me my career is over [Applause] [Music] welcome to the Z list lovely loads these niggaz beats relief fuck you look like an old baby 3000 grown up nigga ty - sure what's up that shirt of 14 T you died tonight your shirt your prime suspect choke you to death when I fuck Jackie lon tell your barber don't fuck up inside outside because we got a little fucker you're gonna fuck you up even you wanna fuck [Applause] [Music] neither cater I can't talk to you about keeping your justice black as mean when I forgot we play hi go sit - shake on overtime my nigga Jamal Doman damn he broke his hardest he got transfer money from his famous to his check


[1212.82]
[Applause] garden you guys look like he buy his clothes by the tail let me get tip now some shirts please 20 pounds of pants give me shoes for left or for rights look at this motherfucker look at this lesbian that's my immigration lawyer dirty shit have you got took a bath the last week into the queen of the moon god damn you got some big-ass titties you would dress me my village with that but I fuckin talkin shit about me she gonna lose weight now she like a melted ice cream


[1280.37]
you make me mo so cute I like big girls you fuck them all here [Music]


[1294.38]
block block block block block block block block block I was a relationship as strong as I see you see this bitch never give directions without mentioning the restaurant you will come to my house you see McDonald's make a left brother King bigger right you see the waffle hospital you turn see Roscoe's were too far I heard jokes that nigga's with corneas shit now I'm not Wilson nigga that is some you know what can be hard anyway show a fucking minute Danny got snickering suffice pitch on yourself to come out you start to Kevin's take blaring is shit with anybody very common with Wesley Snipes Webster because I come in hot shit I don't like no bitches around me with no cameras you come around me no camera no phone no telescope no man this just close your eyes when you see me if I was Kelly housewife up with all his good shoes on the top shelf go get it short and I hate


[1408.45]
[Applause] [Music]


[1436.57]
[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]



Description:
More from this creator:
Hilarious Birthday Roast of the African King of Comedy at Ha Ha Comedy Club in LA. Includes hilarious commentary from several "Z List" Comedians... Hosted by K Dubb, appearances by Malik S, Joncea The Comedian, Darius McCrary, Eddie Winslow and many more
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