How to deal with NEGATIVE family members :(

by: Jon Mercer

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something some what you want nice job mercy here hope you're having a fantastic day and I just want to do a very brief video today I'm out doing some house hunting around Atlanta Georgia and I didn't have a whole lot of time but I wanted to answer a question that I got from two different people via email and on Facebook over the past week and this is a tricky question they were asking about how do you deal with a family member like a parent or sibling someone that you you know you love and you you want to have a good relationship with obviously but someone who's very very negative toward you and they're constantly stirring up negative stuff saying negative things and putting you in that frame of mind how do you deal with them now I'm going to answer this question very briefly because to be honest you could talk for days about this it's a complicated subject but I'm going to give you the short answer to this because I don't think it's worthwhile to go into too much thought too much depth about it I really don't because this is the kind of problem that can just drive you nuts if you think about it too much and here's why this is one of those difficult issues because you've got two competing forces going on the first one is the drive to love your family which is a pretty strong innate drive that we have right but at the same time you've also got a drive to protect yourself to look out for yourself and you know to not be around someone who's going to bring you down and pull your energy down so those two forces are competing when you have a family member who is really just full of negativity and sort of attacking you verbally and things like this so what's the answer how do you deal with it well the truth is I don't have an easy simple solution for this this is one of the more complicated problems that people can face because of these two competing forces I mentioned the best way to handle it though is to minimize your time with the person who is giving you the negativity that doesn't mean to cut them out of your life I mean unless the situation is truly awful if you're suffering physical abuse of course or severe verbal abuse that is above and beyond you know just some kind of mental abuse or something that is beyond way beyond normal abuse that people get but the best thing to do is minimize your time with this person minimize your time at family events and things if it's a family member doing and that's hard to do but it's a better solution than completely cutting them out of your life I think and it's a better solution than just continuing to tolerate getting your energy sucked dry you know by someone who is so negative you have to find a middle ground there okay and it won't always be easy I know that but you can do it you can find a middle ground that works for you but whatever you do you want to make sure that you have your relationship with this person on your terms if you can handle being around them for two or three hours then do that okay if you can't handle being around them for two or three days don't do that so you have to make the situation fit what you can deal with and what works for you because remember this if you start to feel guilty remember it's not helping your family member if you get all tore down and if you're you know if your energy gets drained and you feel awful about yourself or whatever that's not helping your family member it's not helping anybody in fact it hurts everybody else if you limit your time with family members that are really negative toward you you're actually doing them a favor okay that is it's not in their best interest and it never will be to be in a situation where you get tore down okay you need to be in situations that build you up keep you positive and optimistic and feeling your own power so keep that in mind and remember you don't ever have to feel guilt about this okay because if you can't handle a situation or if it tears you down or drains your power and energy it's not going to be good for them either so remember you're doing this for everyone not just for you if you have to limit your time and exposure to people like that okay keep that in mind alright guys have a fantastic day have a wonderful holiday season I'll talk to you all very soon don't forget to friend me on Facebook I'll put a link below in the DubLi


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In this video: communication expert and motivational speaker, Jon Mercer on dealing with difficult and negative family members. This is something that can be especially challenging during the holidays and at Christmas; but you don't have to let those energy vampires drain you! Follow Jon on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JonMercerOfficial/

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